Delays!!

Looks like we’ve run into an issue and the show will have to be postponed for a bit. As you know, Ashley is currently in Austin, TX at the Austin Game Developers Conference. They apparently have a really crappy internet connect and doing the show would be like playing a game of Russian Roulette….with all the bullets in the gun. I’m also out of town, so we’re going to be producing and putting the show out on Monday. I hope this doesn’t disappoint you guys too much, and we promise that we’ll have some freakin’ awesome content! Maybe Ash will bring some news of drunkards doing stupid crap back with her from Austin. See you guys on Monday!

Episode 20 – “Where Did My Thing Go?”

This has been the most entertaining show to make yet! Thanks SO much to Jared, K-man, Mark, Chris, and Producer Bill for participating in our pseudo live show. And thanks to Frankie U for submitting stories for the week. We have an amazing line-up for you this week with exploding chickens, thieving goats, poor nuns, and potato peelers gone rogue.
Give us some feedback! Did you enjoy the layout? Did you love the pseudo liveness?

Factoid of the Week:
Blood travels 60,000 miles (96,450KM) a day as it circulates through the human body

Drunk driving German kills 300 chickens!
German goats are thieves! <–Submitted by Corvus of CorvusCrow.net
What do potato peelers and water guns have in common? <–Also from Corvus
Just Rewards
Things to never do #1<–Submitted by Frankie U.
Get hooked on SCUBA
Biker get a real “leg up” on race<–Submitted by Frankie U.
Fast food… UGH
Naked man attacks… and dies o_O
Squirrels have new henchmen<–Submitted by Frankie U.
Teenager attempts to win Darwin Award<–Submitted by Frankie U.
Mistaken Identity can be painful

Download it Here! (Right-click, Save As…)
Running Time: 54 Minutes

Skype Reports Login Issues

UPDATE: Looks like Skype is up and running again. We’re still on for the semi-live show! So get ready to give us a call around 7:45 so we can go over how it’s all going to work. 
Okay….I’ve decided that the Evil Ninja Net MonkeyZ are out to kill us, and the rest of the internet in the process. Or it could be squirrels chewing through the lines so that we can’t spread our message of the imminent squirrel uprising. Apparently Skype has disabled downloading of the client, and is having login issues that they are “working very hard to fix.” I think some of you reported problems adding me (fulltangninja) as a contact, and I think this issue explains it.

If Skype is still having issues tonight, we may be forced to reschedule. As much as I hate it, this is the only way we’ve mastered when it comes to doing this show. Keep checking back here for updates and we’ll let you know what’s going on. As of right now, we’re still on for 7:45 in hopes that everything will start working properly again. Keep your fingers crossed!

Live Show

Hey everybody! As you know, if you listened to the show or are registered on the forum, we will be doing a semi-live show for our 20th episode. We’d love for you guys to join in and we have a couple ways for you to do this.
1. Send us a 30 second or less audio clip about “What WTF means to you” in mp3 format. Make sure you mention your name and where you are from. Send all submissions to fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com

2. You can join us on Skype at 7:45pm EST. All you have to do is add “fulltangninja” (aka Steve) as a contact and give him a call at that time. If you do not have Skype, you can get it at http://www.skype.com
It is totally free to use when calling computer to computer. We use it to do our show and it works great. We want you to call in at 7:45 so we can hear everyones sound quality and make sure it’s all going to sound good.

We’re very excited about doing this show. We haven’t ever done anything like this, so all the people participating will be lab rats to our weird experiment. Hopefully we can get everybody in one conference, but I know Skype has limits, so it’s really going to be a first come, first serve. Next time we do something like this, we’ll try to have our system a little more nailed down and figure out a really good way to make it happen.

We can’t wait to hear from you guys!

Episode 16 – “Zombie MonkieZ Ate Our Podcast”

Ok, this episode was mindblowingly annoying in its fruition. The content is ragingly hilarious and, therefore, MUST be aired, but the dreaded monkey-headed net demons did NOT want us to have a show this week! How could we not entertain you with, bombs, miniature horse poo, embarrassing diarrhea trails, and naked no-handed men? Someone needs to get a leash on their evil net monkeys and tell them to stop giving us issues. After THREE tries we now know that H and H will prevail! All Hail!
Factoid of the Week:
The first novel ever written on a typewriter was The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.

Heat drives student to throw furniture
Moron dad took his 10 year old son bull running
No handed naked man arrested for drunk driving
Doctor misdiagnoses a kid and calls him a “wimp”
Armed robber tries to rob house, then asks for a hug
Couple keeps miniature horse in the kitchen
Woman gets diarrhea at Jo-Ann’s Fabrics and is refused access to the restroom
Horrible people steal $38 from kids at a lemonade stand
College application causes bomb scare

Download it Here (Right-click, Save As…)
Running Time: 50 Minutes

Pi and CHiPS News

The Pi and CHiPS Network has brought to you this special announcement. In light of Horseshoes & Hand Grenades being delayed until Sunday, we decided to give you guys a sneak peak of a couple of the shows coming around the corner. Chris and I just wanted to hold you over until the new H&H is released and give you an update on where Pi and CHiPS is at and why on earth we haven’t done a show in a couple months. All your questions will be answered on this special podcast from Pi and CHiPS.
Download it Here (Right-click, Save As…) 

Episode 15 – “Rock Over London, Rock On Chicago!”

This week we bring you a slightly different episode of Horseshoes & Hand Grenades! With Ashley being out of town and without internet this week, I asked my good friend Adam from Pi and CHiPS to join me on the show. This one was completely awesome, and we had some of the weirdest news we’ve ever had in one show. Between guys dressed as trees and another squirrel conspiracy, this is close to being the strangest show in news history in general. So grab yourself a super-caffeinated beverage and relax in front of your PC…or iPod…or other device :).
Factoid of the Week:
It takes an estimated 2,893 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop

Catholic school requests Hell of a name change
Prosecutors cannot find God
Money found in toilets across Japan
Judge with the missing pants still pushing lawsuit
Drunk German is run over by train….doesn’t notice
Squirrel spies seized
Chinese monk teaches “Iron Crotch Kung Fu”
Smelly feet spark police raid
Man robs bank disguised as tree
Ex-marine tackles bank robber

Download it Here! (Right-click, Save As…)
Running Time: 38 Minutes

Episode 12 – “Your Face is Huge”

Another face-melting episode of Horseshoes & Hand Grenades is out, ready to make your self esteem rise to super hero like levels! That’s right, we’re bringing you fresh, new, human stupidity that will make you feel like you could do no wrong! So grab yourself a BAWLS, a nice cozy chair, sit back, and prepare to be encouraged.
Factoid of the Week
In Tuscon, Arizona, potholes are officially known as pavement deficiencies

Teen Unplugs life machine… because it was noisy
18 Year Old Shoots Friend On A Dare
New York City pays $29,000 for arresting topless woman
Teen gets caught molesting a horse
Man Bursts into flames after being shot with taser gun
Couple falls to their death while having sex on roof
Pig Blood EW!
Gas tanks with teeth
Machete man looking for raccoons at Goony Golf

Download it Here! (Right-click, Save As…)
Running Time: 39 Minutes

Episode 11 – “Happy Father’s Day Ya Filthy Animal”

Another late show, but with good reason! Ashley is back in Florida, which means the show was made at the super high quality that you all look for. We used our super podcast creation machine to bring you the best of odd news, without a single pop or crackle from our microphones. This episode was chock full of the news you expect, including the usual poop and sex stories. What would Horseshoes & Hand Grenades be like without that?! Enjoy the show!
Factoid of the Week
The largest fossilized dinosaur turd ever found measures 22″ x 8″ x 7.5″

German Squirrel Goes On A Rampage Before An Old Man Kills It With Cane
Missing Prisoner Found Snoring On Roof
Man Fails School Exams For 38th Time
Chinese Patients Allowed To Leave Hospital With IV Drips In Hand
Judge cries over lost pants
Blind man build bridge!
Sex Shuts down airport
Butts faces jail time… for ganking toilet paper
Myspace shot down

Download it Here!  (Right-click, Save As…)
Running Time: 39 Minutes