Episode 512 – Waterboarding Pigeons

We did it! Another show in the can! I hope this show is making you laugh at least a little bit during this disaster that is COVID-19. It’s a mess out there, but in here, it feels pretty great. Enjoy the show!

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Factoid of the Week:
With venom 15 times stronger than a rattlesnake’s, black widows are one of the most feared spiders in the world, and the most venomous in North America

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Boys let black widow bite them in hopes of turning into Spider-Man

Words of Wisdom:

Discrimination must always be drawn out, like venom from the wound.

-Sharon Needles

Episode 511 – Close Your Eyes and Think of England

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According to sleep experts, teens need at least 8 to 10 hours of sleep each night, compared to an average of seven to nine hours each night for most adults. Their internal biological clocks also keep them awake later in the evening and keep them sleeping later in the morning. However, many schools begin classes early in the morning, when a teenager’s body wants to be asleep. As a result, many teens come to school too sleepy to learn, through no fault of their own.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Babies begin sleep in active sleep and spend equal amounts of time in active and quiet sleep. This means 50% of baby sleep is relatively light and often filled with dreams. For adults, The average length of the first NREM-REM sleep cycle is between 70 and 100 minutes; the average length of the second and later cycles is about 90 to 120 minutes.

Woman in China sends 1,000 kg onions to ex-boyfriend to make him cry
Five-year-old pulled over in US while driving to California
Peruvian mayor poses as corpse to avoid arrest for flouting lockdown
Bodybuilder Tracy Kiss claims she fights off coronavirus with sperm smoothies

Words of Wisdom:
Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death. -Arthur Schopenhauer

Episode 510 – Mostly Fine

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

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Factoid of the Week:
According to the history book The Records of the Three Kingdoms, by the ancient historian Chen Shou, the single-wheeled cart today known as a wheelbarrow was invented by the prime minister of Shu Han, Zhuge Liang, in 231 A.D. Liang called his device a “wooden ox.” The handles of the cart faced forward (so that it was pulled), and it was used to carry men and material in battle.

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Police say a man shot himself in the foot after throwing a shoe at a cockroach

Words of Wisdom:
“Never let another man fill up your wheelbarrow” -Samuel Adams 

Episode 506 – Violent Burp

Courtesy of Jole Aron

Tyrannosaurus rex looked the most ferocious of all the dinosaurs, but in terms of overall cunning, determination and its array of vicious weapons it was Utahraptor that was probably the fiercest of all. Utahraptor measured about 7 metres and weighed in at just under a TON.

Among other things, raptors are distinguished by the large, curving, single claws on each of their hind feet, which they used to slash at and disembowel their prey. Befitting its large size, Utahraptor possessed especially dangerous-looking nine-inch-long claws.

Befitting their kinship with the first prehistoric birds, most, if not all, raptors of the late Cretaceous period, like Deinonychus and Velociraptor, were covered with feathers, at least during certain stages of their life cycles. Although no direct evidence has been adduced for Utahraptor possessing feathers, they were almost certainly present, if only in hatchlings or juveniles—and the odds are that full-grown adults were plushly feathered as well, making them look a bit like giant turkeys

Seriously, look this beast up… it is terrifying.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

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Factoid of the Week:
In 1842, the English naturalist Sir Richard Owen coined the term Dinosauria, derived from the Greek deinos, meaning “fearfully great,” and sauros, meaning “lizard.”

Man accidentally ejects himself from fighter jet during surprise flight
Police department reminds residents to wear pants while checking mailbox
Florida judge: Get out of bed, get dressed for Zoom hearings
93-year-old woman gets hefty Coors Light delivery after viral plea for more beer

Words of Wisdom:
We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out. -Colin Mochrie

Episode 504 – Gooch Weiner

Colorized Pollen

Though we associate pollen with the color yellow, pollen can come in many vibrant colors, including red, purple, white, and brown. Since insect pollinators, such as bees, can’t see red, plants produce yellow (or sometimes blue) pollen to attract them.

This is why most plants have yellow pollen, but there are some exceptions. For instance, birds and butterflies are attracted to red colors, so some plants produce red pollen to attract these organisms.

In order for pollination to occur, the pollen grain must germinate in the female portion (carpel) of the same plant or another plant of the same species. In flowering plants, the stigma portion of the carpel collects the pollen.

The vegetative cells in the pollen grain create a pollen tube to tunnel down from the stigma, through the long style of the carpel, to the ovary. Division of the generative cell produces two sperm cells, which travel down the pollen tube into the ovule. This journey usually takes up to two days, but some sperm cells can take months to reach the ovary.

Your nose is being violated.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Microscopic pollen grains that carry a certain type of protein are typically the cause of allergic reactions. Immune system cells, called B cells, produce antibodies in reaction to the pollen. This overproduction of antibodies leads to the activation of other white blood cells such as basophils and mast cells. These cells produce histamine, which dilates blood vessels and results in allergy symptoms including a stuffy nose and swelling around the eyes.

Police dump black dye in a blue lagoon to discourage Instagram selfies
Ann Ashford’s virtual town hall delayed by person posting porn during video chat
Medical fetish site donates entire stock of scrubs after being contacted by “desperate” health officials
A man allegedly teaching his dog to drive was arrested after leading troopers on a high speed chase

Words of Wisdom:
Like pollen on a honeybee, flattery clings to the things you tell yourself. – Willis Goth Regier

Episode 503 – Circle My Dots

Acid Rain: What Is It and How Can You Prevent It?

Rotting vegetation and erupting volcanoes release some chemicals that can cause acid rain, but most acid rain is a product of human activities. The biggest sources are coal-burning power plants, factories, and automobiles.

When humans burn fossil fuels, sulfur dioxide (SO2) and nitrogen oxides (NOx) are released into the atmosphere. Those air pollutants react with water, oxygen, and other substances to form airborne sulfuric and nitric acid. Winds may spread these acidic compounds through the atmosphere and over hundreds of miles. When acid rain reaches Earth, it flows across the surface in runoff water, enters water systems, and sinks into the soil.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

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Factoid of the Week:
Acid rain describes any form of precipitation that contains high levels of nitric and sulfuric acids. It can also occur in the form of snow, fog, and tiny bits of dry material that settle to Earth. Normal rain is slightly acidic, with a pH of 5.6, while acid rain generally has a pH between 4.2 and 4.4.

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Words of Wisdom:
First deal with your own tears; tomorrow do something about acid rain.-Betty Jane Wylie

Episode 502 – The Crawl Space Poop Bandit

The Yellow Jacket is a North American predatory insect that builds a large nest to house the colony. These bee-sized, social wasps are black with yellow markings on the front of the head and yellow banding around the abdomen.

Yellow Jackets are common visitors to picnics and parks in the summer as they are attracted to meat, fruit and sweet drinks.  Yellow jackets are carnivorous, primarily feeding on other insects like flies and bees. They also feed on picnic fare, fruits, carrion, and the nectar of flowers. Yellow jackets as assholes.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

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Factoid of the Week:
The queen yellow jacket lays all of the eggs in a colony. She fertilizes each egg as it is being laid using stored sperm from the spermatheca, occasionally skipping an egg. These unfertilized eggs, having only half as many genes as the queen or the workers, develop into male drones.

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Police jail woman who paid bail with marijuana-scented cash

Words of Wisdom:
Anger is as a stone cast into a wasp’s nest. -Pope Paul VI

Episode 501 – Ding Dong Flap

Tea is made from the leaves of Camellia sinensis, a small tree native to Asia. (Confusingly, this is not the plant used to make tea tree oil.) The difference between green tea, black tea, white tea, yellow tea, and oolong tea comes from how the leaves are processed. After the leaves are picked, they begin to oxidize—the same chemical reaction that makes your apple, avocado, or banana peel go brown. White tea is the least oxidized tea, followed by green tea and Oolong tea. Black tea undergoes the most oxidization. 

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
In Tibet, butter tea is a common drink. It is made from black tea, yak butter, and salt.

A malfunction caused red wine to flow from faucets in an Italian town
Florida student learns that pepper spray is not body spray
A man grossly misjudged how to speak to girls and got expertly handled by a Girl Scout
Putting potatoes up your butt won’t cure hemorrhoids, doctors warn
Man burns down entire building trying to kill snake

Words of Wisdom:
A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Episode 500 – FIVE HUNDRED

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FIVE HUNDRED FREAKING EPISODES of Stephen and I rambling into a microphone! Thank you guys for making this the most fun we have all week! <3 Enjoy some egg facts… because non sequiturs are fun.

  1. Chickens don’t produce one egg at a time. Instead, producing hens normally have several eggs in various stages of development.
  2. Eggshell colors have nothing to do with flavor or nutritional value of the egg. Brown, white and even blue and green eggshells are simply indicative of the breed of hen.
  3. The hen’s diet determines the color of the yolk. Some producers feed natural supplements like marigold petals so that their hens lay eggs with brighter yolks. – Cheating bastages!
  4. There are several reasons why we eat chicken eggs instead of duck or turkey eggs. Chickens lay more eggs, they need less nesting space and they don’t have the strong mothering instincts of turkeys and ducks, which makes egg collection easier.
  5. White eggs are more popular among commercial producers because chickens that lay white eggs tend to be smaller than their brown egg-laying cousins, therefore needing less food to produce the same number of eggs.
  6. Most of today’s egg-laying hens are White Leghorns (white eggs) or Rhode Island Reds and Barred Plymouth Rocks (brown eggs).
  7. Not all chickens create eggs equally. Some breeds lay eggs almost every day. Other breeds lay eggs every other day or once to twice per week.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
It takes a hen between 24 and 26 hours to develop an egg. Once she lays an egg, the development of a new egg normally starts within 30 minutes.

Words of Wisdom:
An egg is a chemical process, but it is not a mere chemical process. It is one that is going places—even when, in our world of chance and contingency, it ends up in an omelet and not in a chicken. Though it surely be a chemical process, we cannot understand it adequately without knowing the kind of chicken it has the power to become.Sir John Randall (1906-1984) British biophysicist.

Episode 499 – Splooge Cruise

One week till 500!!

Historians believe Valentine’s Day actually began in Ancient Rome as a pagan fertility festival called Lupercalia, with the celebration dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, and Roman founders Romulus and Remus. The day was celebrated with activities that included sacrificing animals and whipping women with animal skins until they bled, signifying their fertility… (insert wtf .gif here o_O!)

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
The first heart-shaped box of chocolates was introduced in 1861. It was created by Richard Cadbury, son of Cadbury founder John Cadbury, who started packaging chocolates in fancy boxes to increase sales. He introduced the first heart-shaped box of chocolates for V-Day in 1861, and today, more than 36 million heart-shaped boxes of chocolates are sold each year. That’s 58 million pounds of chocolate!

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Words of Wisdom:
I know of only one duty, and that is to love. -Albert Camus