Episode 418 – Circle-Shaped Bumholes

Well, I finally went full hippie. Or fully insane. Not sure which one yet. The other night, while I lay in bed peaceful and still, I imagined that my brain pierced the cosmos with a spike that originated from my head. Yeah. I literally imagined it. While I was awake. It was in black and white (I dream in color) and I literally imagined a white spike of energy exploding out of my cranium and piercing the layers of the cosmos (it’s cake-like apparently). So, there’s that.

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Factoid of the Week:
In the U.S. alone, more than 10 billion doughnuts are made every year.

Man Driving With Fake Homer Simpson License Pulled Over by Police
Wisconsin Police Searching for Serial Toilet Clogger
Florida men accused of trying to burn down house using Ragu spaghetti sauce
San Antonio apartments test dog DNA to catch tenants who don’t scoop

Words of Wisdom:
Whether you take the doughnut hole as a blank space or as an entity unto itself is a purely metaphysical question and does not affect the taste of the doughnut one bit.Haruki Murakami, A Wild Sheep Chase

Episode 417: Tossing Beaver Salad

I am in poor shape. Today marks the third day of adding cardio to my yoga practice… and my muscles are crying out in pain and wondering what they did to deserve such harsh treatment. How did I let myself get to the point where three bloody days of moving for an hour has destroyed me? Guys. Halp. Workout with me so we can all be in pain together!  Yes? Yes.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Aaron Star teaches “Hot Nude Yoga” in a Chelsea studio. The classes are men-only, and there are only two rules: “no kissing and no touching penises.

Passenger stripped naked, watched porn and attacked airline crew during flight
Hartford Police Say Man Drove Stolen Car to Court To Face Stolen Car Charge
Butcher charged with cutting off son’s hand over porn addiction
Utah State Bar accidentally emails image of topless woman to every lawyer in the state

Words of Wisdom:
The attitude of gratitude is the highest yoga. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Episode 416 – Rev DJ Milk DudZ

Guys, I have cashew milk ice cream in the freezer.  I just got a tub today. I am going to go eat that instead of write an intro for the show., because, let’s be honest, cashew milk turtle ice cream pretty much trumps anything I could possibly say on here.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Shampoo was invented in India, not the commercial liquid ones but the method by use of herbs. The word ‘shampoo’ itself has been derived from the Sanskrit word champu, which means to massage.

RUSSIAN STADIUMS TO ALLOW COCAINE, CANNABIS AND HEROIN AT 2018 FIFA WORLD CUP
A Chinese boy got instant karma after urinating on the buttons of an elevator
Police Officer Rescues Cat From Garbage Disposal
Las Vegas airport offers weed disposal bins for travelers who are holding

Words of Wisdom:
Read everything you can get your hands on: Programme your mind to read all the time and everywhere – even in the bathroom; skim through the lines printed on the back of shampoo bottles… -Twinkle Khanna 

Episode 415 – Sensual Bananas

I just read a ton of facts about bananas, and now I am going to make a banana smoothie.  I skipped mine this morning because I forgot to freeze them last night, but I’m just going to throw ice in it. I have a banana smoothie every morning.  Every.  Morning.  Now just thinking about them is making my mouth water.  I have a problem.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Thanks to its oil, rubbing the inside of a banana peel on a mosquito bite (or other bug bite) or on poison ivy will help keep it from itching and getting inflamed.

China cracks down on funeral strippers hired to entertain mourners, attract larger crowds
Man Burns Down Home In Attempt To Remove Skunks
Kids attempt ‘tall man’ trick to sneak into ‘Black Panther’ movie
14 Worms Removed From Oregon Woman’s Eye
New Vibrator Can Reportedly Order Pizza For You After You Orgasm

Words of Wisdom:
Life is full of banana skins. You slip, you carry on.  -Daphne Guinness

Episode 414 – Chickpeas Be Poppin

I think the grey skies have sucked the life out of me the last couple days. I have zero will to do anything, BUT I don’t want to do nothing either. I am stuck in this odd limbo of not wanting to exert effort, but also wanting to be entertained by something other than an electronic device (that’s that she said). Do you guys ever get like that? What do you do to fix it?

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
There are more twins born in Central Africa than in anywhere else in the developing world.

Mexican police find tiger cub sent by express mail
Woman arrives home to find neighbor’s dog riding her pony
Study reveals chemical in McDonald’s french fries may be cure for baldness
Girl Scout sells 300 boxes of cookies outside marijuana store

Words of Wisdom:
My strength and my weakness are twins in the same womb. -Marge Piercy

Episode 413 – Kielbasa Sausage

I made chai tea from scratch! It is currently burning my throat and I LOVE it! Also, I need cardamom. I didn’t have any, so I just made it without, but now I wonder how much better it would be with it. Right now it is really peppery and gingery… which is so good with me. Also, I learned that double spacing after a period is wrong. So that’s been fun to adjust.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
The latin name for flounder, Paralichthys lethosigma, literally means “parallel fish that forgot its spots.”

Pulp Fiction:  Cops find 9000 pounds of stolen oranges squeezed into cars
Dog approved for unemployment benefits of $360 a week
Buddhist Monk Charged With Stashing 4 Million Meth Pills in Monastery
Flight with 85 plumbers on board forced to return to airport due to toilet trouble

Words of Wisdom:
Many people flounder about in life because they do not have a purpose, an objective toward which to work. -George Halas

Episode 412 – Beet Juice Jamboree

I started doing yoga again on a daily basis… and I’m sore.  Why do people stop doing things that are good for them?  It just makes starting back so much harder.  The only habit I habitually (hah) keep is flossing my teeth.  I have no idea why.  Why, actually, I do.  I am obsessed with my teeth (and not having them fall out), so I am terrified NOT to floss.  I don’t want to be at the dentist more than I have to.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
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Factoid of the Week:
In beet folklore and some cultures, falling in love was considered a result of a couple eating from the same beetroot. 

Nutella ‘riots’ spread across French supermarkets
Man claims he was sleepwalking during Oklahoma City burglary
‘Meteor’ that caused buzz turns out to be human waste discarded by airplane

Words of Wisdom:
Breathe properly. Stay curious. And eat your beets. – Tom Robbins

Episode 411 – Snow Cream

I wanna go play in the snow.  I have no buddy to play with me, though.  This is a sad thing.  It’s getting all dark and the snow is turning melty, but I wanna run around for five minutes like a maniac and come in and drink hot chocolate.  Ooooooooooohh, that sounds yummy.  Hot chocolate is needed.  I shall be drinking it during the show.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
The smell of chocolate increases theta brain waves, which triggers relaxation. 

IKEA Offers Discount…If You Pee On a Magazine
Decades of semen squirting land offender in state prison
‘Tide Pods Challenge’ is the newest deadly trend among teenagers
Pornhub usage spiked in Hawaii after false ballistic missile alert

Words of Wisdom:
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. -Charles M. Schulz

Episode 410 – Patient Zero

It has been freaking COLD the last 7 days!  There was this storm that reminded me of every disaster movie ever (they are calling it a “Bomb Cyclone” which doesn’t help it feel any less like a movie).  It would behoove me to get groceries and to leave the house, but noooooooooo.  I like feeling my appendages! Also, now I have the flu.  Yay.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
In 1988, a scientist found two identical snow crystals. They came from a storm in Wisconsin.

Belgian traveller kicked out of NZ after trying to smuggle sausages
Man rips urinal off a pub’s wall — then runs wet and naked in the woods to escape
Tourist ‘overdoses on Viagra’, walks naked through airport throwing feces
Las Vegas strip club draws in CES crowd with robot strippers

Words of Wisdom:
Advice is like snow – the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.  – Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Episode 409 – Fickle Flaxseeds

We hope your first few days of the new year have been AMAZING!  I have to admit to some trepidation as the last several years (ok, since 2012) have been a bit… rough.  HOWEVER, this year is beautiful so far!  Snow days, friends, family, and my optometrist not getting my axis right on my contacts!  Hello beautiful, burry world!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Soft contact lenses were first introduced to the U.S. in 1971 (hard lenses first entered the market around 1938).

Court orders dentist to pay his own mother for raising him
Trendy ‘Raw Water’ Can Reportedly Give You Hepatitis, Other Diseases
Thai penis whitening fad drives social media nuts
Woman with Crohn’s Disease actually had Heinz Ketchup packet stuck in her intestines for six years  

Words of Wisdom:
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. -Ralph Waldo Emerson