Episode 493 – RoboPenis in the HooHah

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The first recorded New Year’s celebration dates back 4,000 years to Babylon, when the first moon after the spring equinox marked a new year. In 46 B.C., Julius Caesar created a calendar with Jan. 1 as the first day of the year, partly to honor Janus – the god with two faces, one looking forward and one looking backward. He is the god of beginnings, transitions, gates, doors, passages, and endings.

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Factoid of the Week:
Black eyed peas, ham, and cabbage are considered good luck if you eat them on New Year’s Eve or Day because it is believed they will bring you money. Lobster and chicken are considered bad luck because lobsters can move backward and chickens can scratch in reverse, so it is thought these foods could bring a reversal of fortune.

Drunk driver five times over the limit caught in car missing two tires
A 12-year-old got a magnifying glass for Christmas — and set his lawn on fire
Woman accused of trying to use her dog’s pee for a drug test
Man arrested after ripping other man’s testicles during fight, police say

Words of Wisdom:
Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. -Helen Keller

Episode 492 – Oozing Moisture

Christmas in Iceland is a colorful fusion of religion, fairy tales and folklore. Instead of one Santa, the kids are visited by 13 Yule Lads that either reward children for good behavior or punish them if they were naughty. The holiday period begins 13 days before Christmas and each day one of the 13 Yule Lads comes to houses and fills the shoes that kids leave under the Christmas tree either with sweets and small gifts or rotting potatoes, depending on how that particular child has behaved on the preceding day. The mother of Yule Lads, half-troll, half-beast, horrifying old woman Grýla, kidnaps naughty kids and boils them in her cauldron.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

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Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Japanese people traditionally eat at KFC for Christmas dinner – the closest food to turkey that you can get in Japan. It’s all thanks to a successful “Kentucky for Christmas!” marketing campaign in 1947. First aimed at foreigners, KFC offered a “Christmas dinner” that contained chicken and wine – a meal that remotely resembled the food expats and tourists had at home. After a huge success, Kentucky Fried Chicken started promoting this offer every year, until the fast food chain became strongly associated with the holiday season.

Car explodes after driver sprays ‘excessive’ amount of air freshener before lighting cigarette
Bearded man robs bank, gifts money, then yells ‘Merry Christmas’
Man has a seven-inch-long glass bottle stuck in his rectum after ‘using it to scratch his itchy backside’
Restaurant tried to hook customers with opium noodles

Words of Wisdom:
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.– Victor Borge

Episode 491 – Barely a News Podcast

In Germany, Heiligabend, or Christmas Eve, is said to be a magical time when the pure in heart can hear animals talking. They can also see that rivers turn into wine, Christmas tree blossoms bear fruit, mountains open, revealing gems hidden inside and bell ringing can be heard from the bottom of the sea. The beer is strong…

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

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Factoid of the Week:
Rudolph’s red nose is probably the result of a parasitic infection of his respiratory system. According to Roger Highfield, the author of the book “The Physics of Christmas: From the Aerodynamics of Reindeer to the Thermodynamics of Turkey” the world’s most famous reindeer has a red nose due to a parasite. However, Rudolf’s relationship with his parasite is symbiotic: after all, the red nose illuminates the path through the winter night for the whole reindeer team.

Brazilian man arrested for impersonating mum in driving test
New Jersey farmer dresses cows in giant-sized Christmas sweaters
Man whose farts can kill mosquitoes paid millions by mosquito repellent company
Man Serves Six-Month Jail Sentence for Eating Cookie Without Permission During Treatment Stay

Words of Wisdom:
There’s naught, no doubt, so much the spirit calms as rum and true religion. -Lord Byron

Episode 490 – Goldfish Memory

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 The song ‘Jingle Bells’ was written in 1857 by James Lord Pierpont and published under the title “One Horse Open Sleigh”. It was supposed to be played in the composer’s Sunday school class during Thanksgiving as a way to commemorate the famed Medford sleigh races. 

“Jingle Bells” was also the first song to be broadcast from space.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
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Factoid of the Week:
“Jingle Bells” was written for Thanksgiving, not Christmas.

Russian cows get VR headsets ‘to reduce anxiety’
Loaded gun inside baby gift bought at Florida thrift store
Naked cleaning firm opens in Newcastle charging clients up to 100$ an hour
Electric eel powers Christmas tree lights at Tennessee aquarium

Words of Wisdom:
I detest ‘Jingle Bells,’ ‘White Christmas,’ ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,’ and the obscene spending bonanza that nowadays seems to occupy not just December, but November and much of October, too. – Richard Dawkins

Episode 489 – Fairly Well Known Streamers

I may have ordered a spicy dish of lamb and noodles at a dumpling place tonight. It was like eating a delicious hive of bees… and I may actually die later.

TELL US WHAT YOU’RE THANKFUL FOR! Send emails, tweets, space-plasma messages (those are a thing, right?)

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

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Factoid of the Week:
No forks at the first Thanksgiving! The first Thanksgiving was eaten with spoons and knives — but no forks! That’s right, forks weren’t even introduced to the Pilgrims until 10 years later and weren’t a popular utensil until the 18th century.

Hotel room costs $1, but it’s livestreamed at all times
Michigan man uses battle axe to fight off intruder
Lion removed from house opposite school in Lagos, Nigeria
Florida marijuana: Get paid $3000 a month to smoke and review marijuana

Words of Wisdom:
“Pride slays thanksgiving, but a humble mind is the soil out of which thanks naturally grow. A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves.”– Henry Ward Beecher

Episode 488 – Surprise Testicle

This week, I am thankful that Sub is here! He got to fly in and spend the week with us, and it’s been great!

The poor kid is prolly traumatized now, however >_>

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Abraham Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving a national holiday on October 3, 1863. Sarah Joseph Hale, the woman who wrote “Mary Had A Little Lamb,” convinced Lincoln to make Thanksgiving a national holiday after writing letters for 17 years.

South African gin company infuses their alcohol with elephant dung
Iowa asked researchers to break into a courthouse, then it arrested them
Cincinnati-area high school announces mandatory drug tests for all students beginning in 2020
YouTuber’s gender reveal goes viral as Paige Ginn farts coloured powder

Words of Wisdom:
Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings. -William Arthur Ward

Episode 487 – Steviana Jones and the Temple of Ash

In Medieval Europe, owls were thought to be witches, and to hear an owl’s call meant someone was about to die (fun). The word “witch” comes from the Old English wicce, meaning “wise woman.” In fact, wiccan were highly respected people at one time. According to popular belief, witches held one of their two main meetings, or sabbats, on Halloween night.

In Medieval Europe, owls were thought to be witches, and to hear an owl’s call meant someone was about to die (fun). The word “witch” comes from the Old English wicce, meaning “wise woman.” In fact, wiccan were highly respected people at one time. According to popular belief, witches held one of their two main meetings, or sabbats, on Halloween night.

Speaking of things that represent Halloween, ever wonder where the typical Halloween colors came from? Orange is a symbol of strength and endurance and, along with brown and gold, stands for the harvest and autumn. Black is typically a symbol of death and darkness and acts as a reminder that Halloween once was a festival that marked the boundaries between life and death.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, DORKS!

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Factoid of the Week:
During the pre-Halloween celebration of Samhain, bonfires were lit to ensure the sun would return after the long, hard winter. Often Druid priests would throw the bones of cattle into the flames and, hence, “bone fire” became “bonfire.”

Mourners at a funeral are accidentally fed drug-laced cake
Colorado Man’s House Blown To Pieces By Cops Looking For Shoplifting Suspect, Court Says He’s Owed Nothing
Students called a suicide hotline listed on their ID cards. It was sex hotline instead
Man Sticks Cannabis In His Nose, Forgets About It For 18 Years

Words of Wisdom:
It makes sense that a witch lives in a swamp. -Jordan Peterson

Episode 486 – Your Children Are Sinners

A group of boys pushing through a crowd at a Halloween party in the 1930s.

The Great Depression was a time of great economic and social change that affected many parts of American life—including Halloween. Parents, concerned about their sons running amok on All Hallows’ Eve, organized “haunted houses” or “trails” to keep them off the streets.

Halloween had long been a night of revelry for adults and children, seen as a positive outlet for young men to blow off steam. This ranged from stealing neighbors’ gates off their hinges to stealing dead bodies. In 1879, about 200 boys in Kentucky stopped a train by laying a dead body across the railroad tracks. In 1900, medical students at the University of Michigan stole a headless corpse from the anatomy lab and propped it up against the building’s front doors.

There were plenty of people who didn’t see this as harmless fun before the Great Depression. However, the economic disaster exacerbated young men’s Halloween antics, leading to increased public concern and anger. In 1933, parents were outraged when hundreds of teenage boys flipped over cars, sawed off telephone poles and engaged in other acts of vandalism across the country. People began to refer to that year’s holiday as “Black Halloween,” similarly to the way they referred to the stock market crash four years earlier as “Black Tuesday.”

“This is the only evening on which a boy can feel free to play pranks outdoors without danger of being ‘pinched,’ and it is his delight to scare passing pedestrians, ring door-bells, and carry off the neighbors’ gates,” espoused one boys’ craft guide. According to the guide, even if a boy had to fetch the gate he stole out of the tree he left it in, “the punishment is nothing compared with the sports the pranks have furnished him.”

Some cities considered banning Halloween altogether. Yet in many communities, the response was to organize Halloween activities for young people so that they didn’t run amok. They started to organize trick-or-treating, parties, costume parades—and yes—haunted houses to keep them busy.

“Hang old fur, strips of raw liver on walls, where one feels his way to dark steps,” advised a 1937 party pamphlet on how to create a “trail of terror.” “Weird moans and howls come from dark corners, damp sponges and hair nets hung from the ceiling touch his face… Doorways are blockaded so that guests must crawl through a long dark tunnel.”

These early American haunted houses were small, non-profit affairs held in residential neighborhoods. In later decades, larger organizations began to host their own haunted houses as fundraisers or commercial attractions. The most famous and influential one was Disneyland’s Haunted Mansion in 1969, which had an extremely high production value for its day.Since then, America’s haunted attractions have become more and more elaborate.

Now, there are over 1,200 haunted attractions that charge admission fees.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
The Great Depression spawned Haunted Houses as we know them today.

Students in India given boxes to wear on their heads in a bid to stop cheating
Utah liquor stores to pour cases of beer down the drain
Haunted House Info
Indian man arrested for eating sloth bear penises in bid to improve libido
Gay people exist because pregnant women have anal sex, claims bishop

Words of Wisdom:
What terrified me will terrify others; and I need only describe the spectre which had haunted my midnight pillow. -Mary Shelley

Episode 485 – Wet Anus > Dirty Anus

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Scottish girls hung wet sheets in front of the fire on the holiday to see images of their future husband. Young women would also peel an apple, often at midnight, in one strip and throw it over their shoulder. The strip was supposed to land in the shape of the first letter of her future husband’s name. In colonial America, Halloween’s bobbing for apples was a fortune-telling game: the first person to get the apple without using his or her hands would be the first to marry.

People also used to bake Halloween cakes with a ring and a thimble inside. Get the slice with the ring and you would be married within the year. The thimble? You’d be unlucky in love.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
The history of Halloween includes a lot of romance

Mum of 44 kids banned from having more children
Oklahoma man driving stolen vehicle caught with rattlesnake, uranium, whiskey and firearm
‘Dream job’???  $1,000 to watch 30 Disney movies in 30 days
Elderly care staff accused of running a dementia fight club, pitting patients against each other
Oklahoma man driving stolen vehicle caught with rattlesnake, uranium, whiskey and firearm

Words of Wisdom:
Luck is not chance, it’s toil; fortune’s expensive smile is earned. -Emily Dickinson

Episode 484 – Grabbin’ The Goozle

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Having children dress up in costume and go door-to-door like little beggars demanding treats is kind of weird. Like several other Halloween activities, the tradition can be traced back to the Middle Ages and the rituals of Samhain. It was believed that ghosts and spirits walked the Earth on the night of Samhain, so people would dress up as spirits themselves in an effort to fool the real deal into thinking they were one and the same.

This act was called “guising.” As the Catholic Church started supplanting pagan festivals with their own holidays (like All Saints’ Day), the act of guising became popular and poor children and adults would go door to door dressed as angels or spirits on Hallowmas begging for food or money in exchange for songs and prayers. This was called “souling.” The earliest known reference to the phrase “trick-or-treat” in North America is from 1927 in Alberta, Canada.  

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Trick-or-treating comes from“souling”

Russian man sues Apple for ‘turning him gay’
Pigeon poops on head of lawmaker discussing pigeon poop problem
Phoenix man shoots self in face trying to quiet down neighbors
Family on South Carolina vacation pulls 44 pounds of cocaine from ocean

Words of Wisdom:
I don’t know that there are real ghosts and goblins, But there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids. -Robert Breault