Episode 57 – “Is That A Podcast In Your Pocket Or…”

My kitchen has exploded. I don’t mean a dish here and there… I mean full out, supernova, atom bomb, enough c-4 to level the planet, exploded. It has even thrown debris as far as my room. If anyone would care to volunteer to come tidy my apartment (ie fill it with water and swish it around for a bit), they would be more than welcome to. If not, you are still more than welcome to listen to the awesome show we have lined up for you this evening! We have the ultimate fight between lesbians and lesbos (what!?), the perks of supporting net neutrality (free sex!), and why you should not have sex with cows… Yeah.
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Barbie Poses Danger

Ok, I admit it. I used to play with Barbies when I was younger. I would cram them into Barbie cars, soak them in Barbie pools, and shove Barbie food down their Barbie throats. I also stripped them naked and painted boobs onto them with nail polish. That, however, is a totally different story. The point of my random rant? Barbies are a normal part of growing up in the United States. Every little girl has one, wants one, or ripped the head off of one at some point in their life. Iran, on the other hand, sees Barbie as more of a WMD. Continue reading “Barbie Poses Danger”

Scuba Puppy Mondex

People do weird things with their dogs, for their dogs, and because of their dogs. You know the types; the ones that carry their dogs in their specially designed $500 a stitch baby skin purses. Perhaps you’ve seen the ones that have costumes made up for their precious little carpet wetters. Little fluffy yappers trotting around with Christmas sweaters or scuba suits. Wait, what? Scuba suits? Indeed.
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Shaken, and a Little Stirred

James Bond is my hero (he shares a spot on a mile-high pedestal with Batman). He drinks with no repercussion to his liver, he spies with no mind to who knows it, and he drives a damn fine car. For his new movie, however, he wrecked a damn fine car off of a cliff and into 150 feet worth of water — and was then fined for barely surviving.

British engineer Fraser Dunn, 29, was left shaken and more than a little stirred after the £134,000 ($265,000) Aston Martin DBS slid off the road and plunged into Lake Garda in northern Italy, where filming is taking place on the new Bond movie Quantum of Solace.

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Button Terror

So, what are you afraid of? Snakes a la Indie, spiders a la every chick alive… or maybe clowns? Go watch Killer Clowns from Outer Space and tell me you aren’t afraid of clowns. Snakes, spiders, and definitely clowns are all terrifying, but how do you feel about buttons? No, not our wonderful H&H buttons (technically, those are considered pins), but the cute, colorful, four-holed bits of plastic that keep some women’s boobs from bursting out of their shirt.

“For me touching a button would be like touching a cockroach. It feels dirty, nasty and wrong. When I was younger my brother used to tease me by opening my mum’s button tin. I hid in my bedroom until he put them away.”

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Episode 55 – “Someone PLEASE Get Me Some Cornbread!”

I went rock climbing in the wild today! I pissed off a crow and twisted my ankle. A friend was throwing leaves at me and I thought they were bees… so, I jumped. This German dude on our show jumped too; and he landed on a lady who had jumped the day before. Some other guy went and poo’d in a kid’s birthday basket. Normally, I would laugh, but the basket was full of DS games! There was also a group of people making a pr0n film at a McDonalds. None of this happened in the woods, but we do cover it all during our awesome show of DOOM!
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Kid Blows with His Nose

When I was 13… well, I can’t really recall what I was doing at the horrible age of 13, but I sincerely doubt I was shooting for a Guinness World Record title. I don’t even understand how this kid came up with the idea for this. If you think about it, it is rather gross.

“A 13-year-old boy is claiming the world record for blowing balloons with his nose. Using one nostril at a time, Andrew Dahl inflated 213 balloons within an hour… in the town’s public library. His feat has been submitted for review by Guinness World Records.”

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Garfield Fo’ Real!

When I was in high school I used to draw Garfield all the time. I religiously read the comics every morning before I dragged myself to class, and I bought all the compilations so I could enjoy the comic in color every day. In short, I am a fan of that huge, fat cat. Much to my joy, Garfield lives; and in Italy no less!

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No Squirting Please

We all know that teenagers are a menace. They steal, drool, toilet paper your trees, and have sex with your daughter. Well one town in Norfolk (UK) has decided that enough is most assuredly enough. They have drawn a line in the sand and taken a definite stance against teenagers and their vile hyjinx. They… have banned the sale of ketchup and eggs to teens. Continue reading “No Squirting Please”

Sheep Mowers

I’ve always wondered why we had lawn mowers when so many animals eat grass. Apparently the town of Turin, Italy was wondering the same thing. Turin now employees 700 little, woolly sheep to keep their city parks neat and trim… and well fertilized.

Manager of the project, Federico Tombolato, said: “Using sheep is not only cheaper and more environmentally friendly, but we also get to sell them at the end of the process to raise more money.”

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