Episode 97: “I Can Poop When I Want To”

business-chimpI hold in my hands the coolest looking candy stick I have ever seen. It is a rainbow candy cane (well, a stick because there is no hook) and I totally didnt want to eat it because it looks so My Little Ponyish. My sister got it for me (along with hello kitty swag!) from PA last weekend. Also, it is nommy.
Well, this week was apparently animal week for HnH. Specifically dogs for some reason… attack dogs, dead dogs (zombie bow wow!), nose eating dogs, dogs named after political figures that have intestinal issues all over my neighbors home, dogs that marry 2 year olds in order to stave off tiger attacks… you name it we ramble about it!

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Episode 96 – “Where Did All These Little People Come From?!”

cowpeefizzYay! I am back in town and live with Stephen (sooo happy). I also found out i have a peptic ulcer (aliens laid eggs in my chest) and I like spicy chicken. Nom. Also, batman beat up superman. It was so windy here today that a tree about fell on me (it did fall, but obviously missed me), a car was thrown off the highway, and building collapsed. I live in a state surrounded by mountains… we don’t have crap like this!!!
A kid who thinks it is abuse to take a bath once a week, a man who thinks it is ok to call 911 over lemonade, a florist who is allergic to flowers, soda pee (made by holy cows), and the poo mobile.

This show goes out to Vash’s father… good luck with your surgery Monday!

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Episode 95 – “They are Totally Linguistic!!”

hugeboobsStephen and I got mega chatty and ridiculously giggley for this episode… which means the stories were amazing! I am not sure what was in the water, but Stephen about popped his eyeballs out a few time from laughing so hard. We talked about foot odor so bad it caused a ten year legal case, boobs so big they might explode, a drunken prank so lame that a bowl of half eaten beans were stolen, stark trek, fox pee, zombies, and pigeons down some guys pants!
Our thoughts go out to Matt and his family <3

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Episode 94 – “We Eat Crazy For Breakfast” (take two)

goatthiefWell, this is a tad late. Stephen and I tried to make it wonderful last eve… but Skype was laying down some thick layers of hate that made it impossible to understand each other through. Today, however, Skype was impressed with last nights virgin sacrifices… and allowed us to finish the show! Ignore the fact that I drank too much, and Stephen wears socks on his head. Thanks to all the new ppl that showed up(CmdrWalt, el-heffe, surprise_pants, bhyphen), and all our returning chatters! Voodoo, Scott, Frankie… we miss you!!!
Today we bring you, fugu balls, killer couches, two retarded cowboys, way too much poo being tossed around, evil, car robbing billy goats, and boobs that wanted to be free.

Yum baby corns!@#

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Episode 93 – “Socksballs on Your Head”

photo-7I can think of nothing of value to say, so I leave you with the musical stylings of Sailor Moon!
“Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight,
Never running from a real fight, she is the one named Sailor Moon. She will never turn her back on a friend. She is always there to defend. She is the one on whom we can depend. She is the one named Sailor MOON!”

Oh yeah!

Invincible Germans (AGAIN!?), Crab Swindler, Ball Throwing, Sink Gouging, Sink Stealing, and a man that crashed into a truck, a liquor store, a fence, another store, and a tree… b4 getting his ass thrown in jail 😀

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Episode 92 – “It’s 2am In My Pants”

crazy-chickenSo, snowboarding was just… amazing. Stephen and I are so, so, SO very sore. You just cannot imagine how much energy strapping a board to your feet and hurling yourself down a mountain takes. Not to mention the bruised knees (worse than a week as a hooker), the bone chilling cold (especially when it rains all day), and the ridiculous amounts of money it drains from you.
What do hen-dogs, pig-fish, human-carpets, pee-soda, finger-chops, and 100 LBS of meat have in common?

They are all featured on episode 92! 😀

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Episode 91 – “Have You Ever Felt A Beaver?”

snowboardingWell, after a two week break… we are back! This is greatly annoying us that we missed two weeks, so we might do something fun to make up for that. Like… filming Stephen and I falling down the face of a mountain 😀
Blow up dolls, run away bride and groom (at the age of 5 and 6!), peeing on the bouncer, living in the freezer, and jail better than parents.

Pray that this ski trip doesnt kills us!

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We are….

Still alive!
Well, the holidays are really messing with Stephen and I. We’ve been trying to pass along the holiday olive branch to the leaders of SUC, and have been in intensive (and somewhat nutty) meetings for the last couple weeks.

Stephen has been chosen as a delegate to mediate between SUC and FUR… and of course we put world peace, safety, and the end of SUC before doing our actual show. (Hey, we aren’t totally narcissistic).

Since Stephen is so far away and without any recording devices (none are allowed in the secret location that the meetings are taking place in), it might be a few more days still before we are caught up.

Never fear, however! I will take it upon my shoulders to post a few amuZing stories on the site to keep you tided over until we are able to get our recordings done!

Thanks for you patience… and I hope 2008 was amazing, and 2009 will be even better!

-Ash

Episode 90 LIVE – “Your Mom Wrote On My Wall”

china-swat-segwayI got a Batman for Christmas! It is so so so freaking badass! Stephen’s parents got me a happy happy evil wicked (insert comas) batman statue designed by George Perez (limited number), and I could die! I got shine Mk V Dc and I REALLY want to play right now! On that note, smoking dog, killer hippo, eggbeater hold up, plane hits a cow, and heart found at carwash.
I hope you have all your shopping done and Christmas is wonderful!

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Episode 89 – “Man, She’s Got BallZ!”

I found this clay stuff called “Sculpy” the other day and I am not totally obsessed with making mega cute animeish octopussys and presents and snowmen with mega cute bows and omg they are CUTE. Granted, I get them totally done, baked, painted… and I go to draw the face on and I always screw it up and have to repaint over the face and redraw the eyes 45 times. So annoying. Search out Sculpy on the nets and make cute things with me! Post pics on the forum… I think I will of the octy i just made. So amazingly adorable.
Oh… the show… brainless boys, nutty engines, mac attacks, evil red pens, and nothing is more natural than a beaver… o_O

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