Episode 45 – “If All Else Fails, I’ll Just Recycle My Urine”

I went out tonight thinking I was going to get some yummy German food… only to find out that it had been replaced! Then I drove downtown and parked, ready for my second choice… but it was overran by small children and country music! So I walked to a Japanese place and got Kistune Udon! It was so good. So good. But the cheesecake… not so much >_<
Either way, the show tonight is wonderful, as always! We give you the secret of the Highlander, reasons why you shouldn’t swallow keys, and… is anyone out there missing their scalp?

Factoid of the Week:
If the human body had the same mass as the sun, it would actually produce MORE heat 

Things You Shouldnt Swallow:
New Sitcom Idea?
German Bank Robbers… Or Not?
Mayoral Dog Napper
Buckle Your Beer Up  <–Submitted by Max of Analog Medium
Handcuffs: Fun For All Ages
Houdini Couldnt Have Done Better
Anyone Missing Their Scalp?
The Lion, The Witch, and The Dead Guy
Call Her Grandma Crank
Immortal Baby
Small Plane Crashes in Tallahassee 

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Running Time: 57:23

Episode 44 – “Rootie Tootie Fresh and Fruity”

So, we were a tad late with posting this because I went out to eat and to see a horrible movie… I’m never let a group of five girls pick the movie ever again! I’m also going skiing tomorrow, which means a 6am wake up call. Yay! Hopefully, you guys are listening to this when you aren’t tired, and I haven’t broken my leg. So, stay tuned for inflatable dolls that lose their moans, 89 frozen ferrets, human tongue risotto, and a man arrested for dunk driving his lawn mower!
Factoid of the Week:
Roughly 2.2 million Americans can play the accordian

Shark Attack!
109-year-old Gets a Passport
Man got a stupid idea…then acted on it
Deaf Due to Cotton!
Inflatable doll lost its moan
Why Sterilization Should Take Place
Frigid Frozen Ferrets
Body Parts Stolen
Human Tongue Hospital Food
Man Takes Mower on Beer Run <— Submitted by Frankie U.
Double Dog Dummies
Pr0n Search on Nun’s Computer

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Running Time: 1:01:55

 

Episode 43 – “Hits Harder Than a Sock Full of Pennies!”

Dedicated to Heath Ledger: 1979 – 2008
I just got into an argument with my mother over whether or not I washed the towels in my bathroom… while that was annoying and fruitless; Episode 43 is neither! So, if you ever find yourself arguing over something completely asinine… turn up this episode and blast the other person out of the room with a kitty that has its own God Mode, a pack of thieving underpants gnomes, and an theft-proof vehicle… that was stolen!

Factoid of the Week:
Premature infants are five times more likely to be left handed

Snakes on a Plane!
A Boomerang Returns
Theft-proof car Stolen
Soon-To-Be-Super-Hero
Wolfman Looking for Love
Singing Duck
Underpants Gnomes are Real! <— Submitted by Frankie U.
The Blob Attacks!
Man Ate Rotten Meat
Kitty Has God Mode
Robber Shoots Himself in the Foot
Reason 105 Why Stealing is Bad <—- Submitted by Frankie U.

Extras!: 
Wizzywig: Volume 1 by Ed Piskor!
Think Twice Buttons! Great service and excellent quality for all your button needs!

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Running Time: 1:05

Episode 42 – “Oh gross, I just ate tuna off my foot!”

Omg, I am going to be late for Cloverfield tonight! But, Horseshoes and Hand Grenades comes first, and my personal life can swirl down the toilets like a spider that you found on your wall, but didn’t want to squish because you thought that would be evil, but it was just as bad because you drowned the poor thing. On this “Ashley is Hyper as Hell” version of H and H we have for you, sex toys that have hopes of exploding, zombie fisherman, and a man who thinks the neighborhood washing machine is his toilet. Oh yeah.
Factoid of the Week:
The world’s five smallest countries could easily fit inside Walt Disney World 

Sex Toy Bomb Scare
Zombie Fisherman
Police-cicle
Ever neutered a truck? Me neither <– Submitted by VoodooSnowFlakes
Computer Translates Dog
Mile High Flight
Pickles: Now with dead rodent parts! Yummy!
Don’t Poo in the Laundry
Forced Rectal Exam
Now this is a drinker!   <– Submitted by Frankie U.
Reason #3487 you should be listening! <–Submitted by VoodooSnowFlakes
Sheriff Charged with Theft <–Submitted by Max @ Analogmedium.com

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Running Time: 1 Hour

Episode 41 – “I Don’t Jack Bullets!”

This is, alas, my last day down in Florida for some time. Q Q! This was also an amazingly hilarious show, and I REALLY have to pee from laughing so much. I bought Stephen a book of useless information yesterday, so this show is even more chock full of useless info that will stretch your brain to amazing proportions… which is always entertaining. We’ve got the world’s biggest ass tumor, a kid who glued himself to his bed to avoid going to school, and a man who sends dead cow head hate mail. Don’t make me go back home!
NOTE: Sorry for the late release. Assassin’s Creed swallowed my brain 0_o

Factoid of the Week:
The average child recognizes more than 200 company logos by the time he enters elementary school

Con Man Lives in Hospitals
WorldZ Biggest Ass Tumor
Lucky Man’s concrete mistake
Weekend at Bernie’s: The Live Show
Boy Glues himself to Bed
Russian Bridge Thieves
Drunk German in Poland (again)
Dead to Heat the Living
Dead Mouse Found in Beer
Kid Killed over Milk Duds
Cow Head Hate Mail

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Running Time: 1 Hour

Episode 40 Live – “That is NOT Where the Ears Go!”

FORTY Episodes… that is forty weeks of wondiferous Horseshoes and Hand Grenades goodness. Thanks to everyone that showed up for the show, you guys are bloody amazing and we seriously wouldn’t be here without you (well, we might, but we would be slightly pathetic with delusions of grandeur). Our next milestone is episode fifty and we can not wait! Stephen and I hope that your New Years was fantastic, and we look forward to bonding with you and making you laugh for the next year to come. In this, our goofiest of live episodes, we bring you senior citizen ninjas, massive panties that put out fires, an 11-year-old that thought he was Luke Skywalker, robot sex, and evil GPS systems.
Factoid of the Week:
The world’s first animated TV ad was created by Dr. Seuss in 1949, for the Ford Motor Company 

Panties Save the Day
Laundry also saves the day!
World’s Oldest Ninja
Things left in Travelodges in 07
Biggest Coincidence… EVAR
Stephen’s Hero
Speeder thinks himself an ostrich
Robot sex by 2050
Dork Impales himself
Pearl of a Time
TomTom’s are evil…
TomTom’s are evil^2
“Y’all fat, y’all eat too much!”

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Running Time: 1 Hour 15 Minutes  <– It was LIVE! Give us a break!

Episode 39 – “Like A Kick In The Face With A Golf Shoe”

Holy crap, did we already celebrate Christmas? Well, for those of us that celebrate Christmas, anyway. I can’t really recall what I did. I’m pretty sure there was a goat on the table at one point, and something about a rumball fight that landed half of my household in prison for some time. Fun times, fun times! Anyway, Christmas week lead to a lot of people stuck in chimneys, septic tanks, and rampaging santas that stormed through a cinema. I’m sure the Christmas elves are proud of us.
Factoid of the Week:
The plastic or metal tip at the end of a shoelace is called an “aglet”

Santa doesn’t do it like this
Smoking ban leads to holes
Rampaging Santas
Thor’s Hammer needed in prison
Ghost sends Christmas cards
Christmas + Acid = Naked Dance
Adding insult to injury
Have yourself a stinky Christmas
Fake balls anyone?
Premature opening leads to stabbing
Who steals a Jesus? Seriously?!
Snotty cop
Pr0n 4 Christmas!

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Running Time: 1 hour 5 minutes

Episode 38 – “Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal”

Hello again Ladies and Gentlemen! H&H has returned from a great pilgrimage from the land of morons to bring you what we have found in the vast uncharted world: a whole bunch of ridiculous news about stupid people doing stupid things. We nearly died out there after we were threatened by a group of guys with beercan helmets and large clubs for speaking with “them smart words.” Yes, we have returned unscathed! And we bring with us news of stolen beaches, a wolf with a taste for steak, horny bus drivers, squirrels that think they’re Solid Snake, and women with unhealthy obsessions with Santa Claus.
So enjoy this H&H Holiday Special, and don’t forget to share it with your friends!!

Factoid of the Week:
The average amount of Santas hired by a US Mall – 3.73

So, this wolf walks into a bar
Not a use for coffee <— Submitted by Frankie U.
Shocking Punishment
Beach stolen!
10 Year old girl arrested for cutting food with knife <– Submitted by Voodoosnowflakes
Hooker + school bus = WTF!?
Tinsel Screws Thief
We can “enhance” anything
Squirrels are getting a lot smarter
Ho, Ho, what a Whore
A laughing good time
Goosenapped!

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Running Time: 1 Hour 5 Minutes

Episode 37 – “It Was The Meat That Inspired Me!”

For a limited time only, get Horseshoes and Hand Grenades Episode 37 for ONLY fourteen installments of $999.99! This limited time offer will never be seen again, folks. In Episode 37 you will get: A plea to Digg our show, a man in a speeding wheelchair, a death threat via Karaoke, a man that shoots himself in the bum, and for a limited time, a playful pup that procures peeing penises!
If you order in the next ten minutes you will receive the all new golden pill that makes your poo glitter for FREE!

You won’t ever see this offer again… don’t let this one of a kind Episode run out!

Factoid of the Week:
In her entire lifetime, a female hummingbird lays at most 2 eggs

Indian man bites rabid dog! Rescues duck from the cold grip of death!
Man gets stuck in bathroom for three days
Wheelchair bound man arrested for…speeding!? <– Submitted by Frankie U.
Man shoots himself in the buttocks!
Only 10 shopping days til Christmas. Better buy some Rhino Poop! <– Submitted by Frankie U.
Karaoke: Threat lvl orange
Bouncing lovers bounce cars over the edge
Golden pill makes your poop glitter
Playful Pup Procures Peeing Penis
Angry tow truck driver tries to tow police car
Don’t taze me, bro! I’m deaf! <— Submitted by Frankie U.
Suburban sex parties draw complaints
Barbie’s prison

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Running Time: 1 Hour 5 Minutes

Episode 36 – “Fish Don’t Stink Underwater”

Omg, my brain hurts! It hurts so bad, I can’t even express how badly it hurts. On that note, we have produced a wondertastic show for you guys this week! The WTF!?’s are more WTF!?ier and the News Better Left Untold really should not have been told. We also received buttons this week and are totally stoked beyond all things stokable! So go pop some Tylenol, pin your buttons to your forehead… and chow down on this amazing-super episode!
Buttons…Courtesy of Ashley’s iSight camera and her hand O_o

photo-10.jpg

Factoid of the Week:
Mr. Potato Head was the first toy to be advertised on television

Tourist confused on which bed is his
Bird sentenced to solitary confinement
Newsflash: boobies make you live longer!

Cat found after 19 days with its head stuck in a peanut butter jar!

The CIA can stop cancer!

Death to Poochy?

If you can’t put them in your hair, they’ve got to go somewhere!

This is coming out of the wrong hole!
<— Submitted by Frankie U.
Fart Break

ASSAULT: Man hits Santa in the face with a pie!
Whistle while you shoplift
Wife attacks hubby with potato

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Running Time: 1 Hour 5 Minutes