Episode 70 – “Do Squirrels Have Nuts?”

The word “salad” implies something light and crunchy and yummy. So, when I made a taco salad, I was looking forward to not feeling like a very stuffed sausage afterwords. However, I apparently more taccoed and less saladed my taco salad… and I feel like a turkey on thanksgiving – stuffed. I also forgot what day it was today and barely made it home in time for the live show; which is not really the best thing in the world for a co-host to do! Anyway, the show was awesome and a special thanks to everyone that turned out! The show was a bit gross this week, eating bugs, being impaled in the groin by a rusty spike, having one’s penis fall off in the midst of sex… you know, pretty standard stories for us 😀 Continue reading “Episode 70 – “Do Squirrels Have Nuts?””

Episode 69 – “Put This On Your Crotch”

Somehow — completely unintentional on our part, of course — we ended up having a ton of stories with the number 69 in it for our awesomely perverted 69th episode. 69 year old pool-o-phile, 1969 founding date of the Jim Smith foundation, 69 million cats, 69 thousand carp pedicures. Ok, so maybe I fudged the numbers a tad, but whose counting? I’m just glad to be back! 69 times happier to be back then you could even imagine. 😀
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Episode 68 – “A Different Set of Boobs!”

Whoa! I totally apologize for the late release on this one. I spent most of last night in a ceremonial wrestling match with a squirrel ambassador and that little sucker put up a major fight! Who would have thought that a 6 inch tall rodent could fight like that? It was like watching the Karate Kid, and I was the kid from the Cobra Kai! Needless to say I was dead tired and slept through the release time, but this episode is definitely worth the wait! We’ve got drunk Aussies, oral sex competitions, and the infamous Goat Man!!
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Episode 67 – “One Extraordinary Nutsack!”

Old Dude on a ScooterSo, obviously my surgery was a no go… damned worthless nurses! Oh, well. I get to see Hellboy and Batman when they come out… that is all that really matters! Stephen and I had an interesting last week. It is hard to believe he was just here! Alas, no he is back in FL, and we are left with audio issues. So lame. I guess it is better then battle bot granny style, skinned cat hats, shooting your kneecap off to get a mouse, and falling under a car for two days while no one notices you are gone…
This episode is dedicated to Vash’s friend Steve. We are praying for your recovery <3

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Episode 66 – “The Fire Burns Red!”

Stephen is up in good old, lame arse WV this weekend for one last show before I get my face rearranged via surgery. On July 10th I am having a freaking horrible 3 hour minimum surgery on my nose (nasal septal perforation… wtf?!) and I will be out cold that day… and probably that week. So, this was my farewell show for a good week or so; but I will be back after my short hiatus, if all goes well. Happy 4th of July to all those that live in the USA (and a small apology to those of a more British origin… we still love you). Enjoy the fireworks, the hotdogs, and the time with friends and family. Also, enjoy a man stabbing his mother with a fork, and clocking another woman with a frozen chicken, a robber that likes to hug his victims, and the poor woman who had her toes gnawed off by her stupid mini-dog. Ouch.
Happy Birthday USA!

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Episode 65 – “The Wombat Is MINE!”

My mother broke her foot about 3 weeks ago, and she just started rehab to help her heal. I drove her to Body Works Wednesday under the assumption that she would be done w/n about 15 minutes. (That is what the ppl in charge told me, anyway.) So, I sat outside in the very bright sun reading my Anita Blake book (yay LKH!) while I waited on my mother. I apparently got lost in reading, because my mother emerged over an hour later. Anyway, I got home and had a sunburn spot on my KNEE. Who the hell gets one sunburn spot on their KNEE? Ugh. I’m glad I had episode 65 to stop the burn. Why monkeys are bad, why ninja’s aren’t really ninjas if they can be seen, and why you should never leave toilet paper roses as a means of apology. Dedicated to Kristina, our newest listener (and Eyrck’s sessy girlfriend).
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Episode 64 – “Death Wears Sandals!”

Puffer FishSo, I am down in Tally Wang with Stephen this week! We did a semi-live, on video show and a couple of our awesome listeners turned in and were perverts with us! I was trying to pound back a bottle of Asti, and Stephen had his mega fruit juice of doom. Apparently, there was a lot of interest in Stephen’s spinny chair… and bets on whether or not he would tip over at one point during the show. While Stephen was busy trying to keep his balance, and I was trying not to choke on bubbles our show read without us about Gerbils of Doom, Zombie Mayors, Street Swept Dogs, and Gonad Crazed Puffer Fish. This episode is dedicated to our newest fan, Vash, from somewhere in Georgia. He is HnH approved.
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Episode 63 – “Mmm, Hot Monkey Cleavage!”

I did this episode rather tipsy off my arse. I drank a bottle of Vampire Merlot that the wondiferous Brad B. got me for helping him carry heavy boxes. I think I shall forever to the show in a state of tipsyness. Stephen also did the show live (from his end) via camera and sticham on the site! This will probably become the trend. My room is a mess… someone come clean it immediately. Or you could check out our show and get paid to watch pr0n, have your penis bitten by a snake, have a baby you didn’t know you were carrying while wearing a bumble bee suit, or be chased away from your meal by a bear.
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Episode 62 – “Porkchop Sandwiches!”

This week has been insane. I spent 24 hours straight (2 breaks for food) helping a friend move from his apartment (he had more crap then you could possibly imagine), came back home (3 hour drive) only to take my mum to the hospital! Pure Crap! Combine this with working and my mum’s broken foot and you have a recipe for no spare time! Good thing I have Stephen and H&H to turn to or I would be doing some BASE jumping without a chute. This week brings us a man who thought a porta-potty was a swimming pool, gassless sheep, an unhomeless homeless woman, and a naked maid that no one thought to watch clean.
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Episode 61 – “Candy Corn of DOOM!”

It is so good to be back! I missed Stephen and H&H almost enough to keep me home from going to Busch Gardens and eating all of the roller coasters. Alas, the coasters called to me and demanded my attendance. This show totally makes up for my absence, however (because I know you all were just pining away without me). Stephen and I both had caffeine before we recorded, and we are insanely hyper. Hyper hosts make for awesome shows! Lots of sex (with cars!), shark attacks (in bedrooms!), moonpies (as deadly weapons!), and marriages (to walls!). Enjoy the caffeine rush 😀
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