Episode 578 – Ds Make You Dead

Factoid of the Week:

Pregnant women in their 3rd trimester actually lose gray matter in their brain. Don’t worry, it comes back

Surgeon operated with penknife he uses to cut up lunch

Words of Wisdom:

Don’t join an HOA – Stephen

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

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A New Start

There comes a time in every podcast’s life where you have to make a change. That time has come for Horseshoes & Hand Grenades. The little podcast that could is sunsetting itself. We’ve been largely off the air for the past few years and despite our best efforts, we haven’t been able to pull it together. So it is with sort of heavy hearts that we lay this podcast to rest.

BUT

Just because one podcast has to end doesn’t mean another one can’t take its place! Ashley and I are like a parasite. We can only truly thrive when we’re doing what we do on the internet for the fine folks like you. If you’re reading this, we want to let you know that we are BACK! For real this time. We’re setting our expectations a little lower, and we’re working with what we’ve got. What do we got, you ask? ONE HALF HOUR

That’s right. We’re going to be putting out a BRAND NEW podcast called “Stephen and Smash’s Half Hour of Power.” It’s a smaller show than Horseshoes & Hand Grenades, at least for now, with the small objective of producing 30 minutes of content once a week. We’re shooting for every Thursday but there may be days and weeks where we have to move the date or time to get the show in your ears.

So hold on tight, add a new podcast to your podcast service of choice, and let’s get this show on the road! There’s no sense looking back when we have so much more ahead of us.

https://www.halfhourofpower.com

Episode 574 – Stephen Forgot The Titles

Factoid of the Week:

Pythons possess special organs called heat pits that allow them to detect the infrared radiation emitted by warm-blooded animals. This unique adaptation helps them locate prey effectively, even in low-light conditions.

Ultra-marathon runner banned for a year after using car in race
North Carolina orthodontist offers free gun with Invisalign treatment
Porn star’s pet python bites partner’s penis in horror scene: ‘Blood everywhere’
Plane forced to return to JFK Airport after horse on board gets loose

Words of Wisdom:
If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.

-Booker T. Washington

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Episode 573 – My Brain Dumps are a Lot

Factoid of the Week:

All Hallows’ Eve was the day where the Celts paid their respects to the dead. Samhain signified the end of one season’s cycle and the beginning of the next one. They believed that the veil was thin on that night so that the souls of people who perished that year were able to move on to the other world. Offerings, such as vegetables or fruits, were given in order to aid the dead in their passing.

Man Accused of Masturbating in Target Claims It Was Dildo, Not His Actual Penis

Words of Wisdom:

“Halloween is a celebration of the inversion of reality and a necessary Gothic hat-tip to the darker aspects of life, death and ourselves.” ― Stewart Stafford

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
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Episode 572 – HNH is Good Screen Time

What’s this? A show? In your podcast feed? But how!?

That’s correct everyone. Ashley and I figured out how to do a show for at least a night. We had the stars align and took advantage of the opportunity. We dusted off the microphones and sat down to chat for a little bit. We didn’t have any news because, quite frankly, we were not prepared. But did you expect anything else? Just enjoy our charm and wit on this episode.

See you next time!

Episode 452

I’ve started playing Ocarina of Time again… and holy CRAP, it is an amazing game. Some parts still frustrate me (water…. temple…), but, overall, it is fantastic. One thing I did notice this play through (of 4 billion), is that things that irked me or had me stuck when I was younger are things that still hang me up now. Typically, it’s a device only used ONCE in the game and never again… like blowing up a pile of dirt in the shadow temple.  Now, with BoTW, you expect to look for things under piles of dirt or leaves, but at the time OoT came out… one off little devices like that were so annoying! It kinda felt like cheating.

I’ve been playing on my 3DSXL while Jacob has been chasing white Arabians in RdR2….

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
While most mammals have claws to help them with daily tasks, fingernails are something that distinguish primates (including humans) from the rest of the group.

The Antichrist will control mankind through smartphones, warns leader of Russian Orthodox Church
Police warned drivers to not eat chicken tenders spilled on Alabama highway
Woman argues her coat chewing cause failed Breathalyzer test
Police hunt for man caught on camera licking family’s doorbell for 3 hours

Words of Wisdom:
Man is a wingless animal with two feet and flat nails. -Plato

Episode 447 – Fillin’ Gaps

I went to the dentist on Monday… and they had to drill my tooth on THREE separate occasions. Once they went in laterally… it didn’t work.  Then, they went ion horizontally and filled the cary… and it was too tight…. so they had toi drill THROUGH the filling and then fill it again…. So, Monday was a flaming pike of crap. It took an hour to have one tiny little spot fixed. And it wasn’t even a spot I could have helped! My teeth are too close together and they rub and crate weak spots.  At least I’ve never had to have braces.  It was hell, guys.  It was hell.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Where does the word does the word pants come from? It is derived from a character in Italian comedy called Pantalone. He wore garments that came down to his ankles (when most men wore ones that came to the knee). In 18th century England they were called pantaloons. In the 19th century the word became shortened to pants.

Sweden plans to make sex toys safer because so many people get them stuck in their rectum
Amazon workers sent to hospital after robot accidentally unleashes bear spray
Ohio State students get bacon vending machine
Marines Who Drew Sky Penis Over Southern California Get To Keep Flying
Woman passes gas in store, then pulls knife on an offended customer, cops say

Words of Wisdom:
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. -Winston Churchill

Episode 419 – Furry Tree Ninjas

It’s so glorious outside. I have all the windows open and I’m melting. It feels fantastic. Granted, I worked out and then took a massively hot bath… and now I really am melting. My computer is hot on my lap too. I need a pool. You don’t know you’re hot when you swim. Also, I’m pretty sure my hair is never going to dry… I just got a spam call that I get EVERY EFFING DAY and I want it to DIE. X(

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
A world record for the longest conga dance line was set by 119,986 people in Miami in 1988.

‘Orange snow’ baffles eastern Europeans
Jury botches form, clerk mistakenly announces death sentence
Woman plays flute while undergoing brain surgery (there is a video)
Dunkin’ Donuts selling doughnut-themed sneakers

Words of Wisdom:
Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf. -Rabindranath Tagore

Episode 370 – Butt Cinders (WHY ALL THE BUTTS?!)

Have you ever noticed that when you do not get enough sleep you wake up hungry; ravenous, even?  I mean, if I get less than 8 hours of sleep, I want to cover the blanket off my bed in gravey and shovel it down in heaping spoonfulls.  That’s science!  They’ve done studies (that I will not cite here because I am pretending this is a BS paper that a college student is writing) that link not enough sleep to improper eating habits and weight gain.  So, when I sleep in, I am really watching over my health.  Suck on that!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Candle flames are blue at the bottom because that’s where they take up fresh air, and yellow at the top because the rising fumes from below partly suffocate the upper part of the flame.

Landlord Caught Having Sex In Tenants’s Bed
That’ll show her! Frustrated husband chops off his genitals with a knife after his wife hadn’t had sex with him for a DECADE

Words of Wisdom:
Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. – William Butler Yeats

Episode 369 – I Have No Butt

extreme_bodybuilder_02Have you ever had Rum Balls?  I made some last week and Stephen and I destroyed them.  Well, let’s be honest, I stopped making them into balls years ago… too much work.  I now just make a massive lump of rum dough and give Stephen a spoon.  Life is good.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
The word winters comes from the Germanic wintar which in turn is derived from the root wed  meaning ‘wet’ or water’, and so signifying a wet season.

Bodybuilder Bitch Slaps Judge
Pot Smuggled in Christmas Presents
Protein Rich Sperm Smoothies
Just Buy The Damn Raspberries

Words of Wisdom:
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. – Victor Hugo