Episode 359 – Holy Sheet

Guys, I seriously cannot count.  At all.  I make the google docs ahead of time, so I can just swoop in and drop the info into the templates.  Today’s ep is 359 and the last template I had made up, so I decided to make some more.  The next few in the series I created were 400-405.  Apparently, 400 comes after 349.  I am an idiot -_-

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Shakespeare made up the name “Jessica” for his play Merchant of Venice.

Chinese Bank Publicly Spanks Employees for Poor Performance
Robbers Make Wrong Turn – Into FBI HQ
Ohioan Throws Poop After Sentencing
Dozens Injured by Hot Coals at a Motivational Seminar

Words of Wisdom:
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. -William Shakespeare

Episode 358 – Doom and Jesus

OMG, guys…. I’m so freaking tired!  This weekend was great, but I want CHICKFILA and DOOM!  We did a “quick” 45 min show because I need a milkshake and I need it now.  I’m so excited for Sugar and Doom.  Also, I have to pee.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.

Will Loan Money for Nudes
Up in Smoke
Like to hunt, but you’re a pacifist? New York City has a deal for you!Man Sneaks Iguana into Courthouse !

Words of Wisdom:
A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work. – Colin Powell

Episode 357 – Magnum

We are debating on whether to see Warcraft… I’ve read the awful reviews, but I’ve also got nothing but thumb’s up from my friends… Ahhhhh!  What should I do!?  Also, I think we might get Doom tonight >_>  Stephen is getting it for PC, so I suppose that is what I shall do too!  Must needs shoot things with Stephen!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Russia has a larger surface area than Pluto.

Live Spider Pulled From Welsh Woman’s Ear
Rancher on Horseback Gives Chase to Bike Thief – Lassos Him
Woman Breastfeeds her Boyfriend (36)
Woman Seeks Divorce Due to Husband’s Enormous Penis

Words of Wisdom:
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.  -Plato

Episode 356 – On Point

Welcome back to another wonderful Saturday (or whenever you’re seeing this) of Stephen and Smashie ramble about news time!  This week we talk about…. I have no idea because I haven’t stolen news stories from Jacob just yet >_>  I did get a bug bite on my face, so that was cool.  And I’m considering dying my hair a fun color (just the underneath), so I might need help with that.  Enjoy your time with the show!  Leave us feedback, if you have any!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

Factoid of the Week:
Light takes 1.255 seconds to get from the Earth to the Moon.

Female Only Parking Spaces 50% Bigger
Man Strips, Poops on Grocery Store Scanner
Man Chops off Friend’s Weener After Finding it is Larger
Neighbor Finds Zombie Surprise in Newly Purchased Freezer

Words of Wisdom:
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.  -Plato

Episode 355 – Secret Bushes

Happy Memorial Day Weekend Thing, folks!  Join Stephen and I as we drink to excess and have amazing conversations with our amazing Legion of Dorks!  Also, whale puke beer.

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
A paper bag takes twice the amount of energy to make than a plastic bag, but is biodegradable.

Father Pays Child Support in Pizza
SC Man Takes Out Loan to Buy Meth..
Whale Puke Beer is So Hot Meow
Pot Head Sheep Rampage

Words of Wisdom:
Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.  – William Wordsworth

Episode 354 – Press Dat Panini

Welcome new people’s to the Legion of Dorks!  We love you guys so hard and it’s freaking AWESOME hanging out with you in the chat for the show. You make us happy 😀  (if you know what I mean).  Who all is playing doom?  I need to not suck at shooters…. because I want to play and not die a lot.

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

Factoid of the Week:
Coca-Cola would be green without food coloring

Ottawa Woman’s Chest Too Big for Workout
Naked Man Rescued from Chimney
Don’t Poop While On the Job (at least on people’s lawns)

Words of Wisdom:
There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate’s loot on Treasure Island. – Walt Disney

Episode 353 – Stuffed Sausage

GO SEE CIVIL WAR!  Do it.  I don’t want your excuses.  No one cares if you’re in the hospital or in a coma… get out of the bed and go do the thing.  Also, I want chocolate.

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Russia has a larger surface area than Pluto.

Japan Tells Tourists Not to Fart in Public
Bad Date Diagnosis
Man’s First Words (after coma) “I want Taco Bell”

Words of Wisdom:
Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle. -Napoleon Hill

Episode 352 – Flowering Bush Oil

deleteI am currently eating popcorn.  Popcorn is delicious.  Nooooooooooom.  Have you every noticed that they are a massive varieties of popped corn?  The ones in the chip aisle are so different than the ones you get at a theater… and then you can make microwaved popped corn and air pop popped corn.  I hate caramel popcorn, though.  Hate it.  If that crap gets into my cheese popcorn at Christmas, we are going to have a bad time.

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
 Popcorn has more protein than any other cereal grain. It also has more iron than eggs or roast beef. It has more fiber than pretzels or potato chips.

Where’s the Beef?
Pet Store Owner Paid Prostitute in Primates
Business Pays Employees in Meth
RANT

Words of Wisdom:
Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn. Fulton J. Sheen

Episode 351 – Bam Joke Bam

deleteHoly crap, I want food!  Not sure what I want, thought… but I am sure it isn’t good for me.  Maybe pizza and ice cream?  Why are they so good?  Why can’t celery be as good as pizza?  Like, I’d love to crave a massive bowl of… celery.  Work out with us!  I just started strength training on top of cardio this week and I am tiiiiiired (and hungry).  I shall become Sarah Connor!  RAWR!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
During World War II, the crew of the British submarine HMS Trident kept a fully grown reindeer called Pollyanna aboard their vessel for six weeks (it was a gift from the Russians).

Horsey McHorse Face
Hotel Owner Bans Cyclist Tights
Man Caught with 51 Turtles down his Trousers
Man Breaks into 5Guys to Make Burger (and now I want one)

Words of Wisdom:
The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls. Pablo Picasso

 

Episode 350 – Protectores Mamarios

There were yard sales and babies and stuff… Also, a bit of pollen (one of the helicopter things) flew directly into my mouth.  I was mouth raped by a tree.  How was your day? -_- Did you hear about the taco bot?  I WANT ONE (a taco, not really the bot).

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Mars robots, Spirit andOpportunity, have logged 10.5 miles trudging across the Red Planet for more than three years. The unstoppable droids were built to last 90days.

Penis Ring Sparks Bomb Threat
Motel Owner Spends 29 Years Perving on Guests…

Words of Wisdom:
Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset .  -Saint Francis de Sales