We’re Coming Back!

Hey, party people! Don’t give up on us! We’re coming back soon, but in the mean time I made you this little thing that you can listen to. Have some fun. Hang in there. We love you!

Episode 466 – Brokeback Brain

My roses are blooming… and they are glorious. I went to a memorial garden with a buddy today to look at the roses… and it was closed. So, we walked around the amphitheater forever until we were able to see the roses… and mine are better >_> I mean, I don’t DO anything to mine, but they are still better. Save for the red ones at the garden… those were amazing.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
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Factoid of the Week:
Wild roses have 5 petals and 5 sepals. A large number of petals is a result of mutation and it can be seen in cultivated roses.

Parrot taken into custody by police in Brazil for trying to warn drug dealers of raid
Undercover Cops Posing As Drug Buyers Arrested By Undercover Cops Posing As Drug Dealers
Kuwaiti Academic Claims Gay Men Have An ‘Anal Worm That Feeds On Semen’
Do NOT put garlic in your vagina: Top gynecologist warns women

Words of Wisdom:
Love planted a rose, and the world turned sweet. -Katharine Lee Bates

Episode 465 – Mouth Swears

Why are wasps a thing? Ants are yicky enough… but make them 6 times as big, give them a massive bite AND sting to go with their size… oh, and then add wings… that doesn’t seem like something out of a hellworld at ALL.

I think wasps were part of the evil that escaped pandora’s box. I think the only thing left in the box was a bigger freaking hornet… but Monsanto is making those for us. Goody.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Ducks and geese that are used for foie gras are prepared by force feeding two to three times a day using a small pipe inserted into their throat, a process known as ‘gavage’, which takes a total time of around two to three seconds for each bird.

Iraq Parliament Bans Online Battle Games, Citing “Negative” Influence
Pennsylvania man receives prison sentence for shooting at fireflies he thought were ‘alien lasers’
Carl’s Jr. (Hardees) will become the first major fast-food chain to debut a cannabis-infused burger
Men carry more germs in their beards than dogs carry in their fur, study finds
Indiana man sues parents for destroying porn collection

Words of Wisdom:
“Be like a duck.  Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.” –Michael Caine

Episode 464 – A Centrifuge and a Wizard

Tonight we answer your burning questions (I feel like this phrase stems from STD’s), talk about Keto cabbage and shrimp de-veining (ew), and dive into the depth of the internets weirdest news.

And we also talk a lot… because… show.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
There are 16 different stages of life are found in shrimp from egg to full adult.

Coffee not essential for life, Swiss government says
Deputies surround burglar in Oregon home, find out suspect is Roomba trapped in bathroom
Doctor finds 4 tiny sweat bees living in woman’s eye, feeding on her tears
High school baseball field doused in gasoline, set on fire in attempt to dry it faster

Words of Wisdom:
To go in the water and stare at a shrimp for three minutes and not think about anything else in the world, it’s just euphoric. -Ashlan Gorse Cousteau

Episode 463 – Bearded Dragon

Ahem. *sings*

I have to PEEEEEEE

In the POT-TEEEEEEE

Really bad-LEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Jellyfish do not have brains, hearts, ears, heads, feet, legs, or bones.  While jellyfish do not have a brain, they have an elementary nervous system with receptors that detect light, vibrations, and chemicals in the water. These abilities, along with the sense of gravity, allow the jellyfish to orient and guide itself in the water.

Judge orders identical twins to both cough up child support
Texas civil court judge accidentally resigns
AMC Movie theatres to host 59 hour marathon of all 22 Marvel movies
ARKANSAS MEN ARRESTED FOR TAKING TURNS SHOOTING EACH OTHER WHILE WEARING BULLETPROOF VEST AFTER DRINKING
Philippines Customs Officials Seize 757 Tarantulas From Poland

Words of Wisdom:
“Life is a beautiful magnificent thing, even to a jellyfish.”― Charles Chaplin

Episode 462 – Therapy Bacon

It’s the Stephen and Jacob show on this episode! We had a great time with some rants, some news, and some fun stories. We think this one is totally worth your time! We even introduced a new section where Tater and Dewayne give advice to folks who need it. That one was pretty fun.   Hope you folks dig it!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Man steals $122 million from Google and Facebook by producing fake invoices
Polk County man fakes armed robbery to avoid going to work
Man Was Circumcised By Mistake When He Went to the Doctor to Get His Bladder Checked
Woman almost dies after injecting fruit smoothie into her veins

Factoid of the Week:
To help airline passengers deal with travel anxiety, San Francisco International Airport hired the nation’s first airport therapy pig in 2015. LiLou wears costumes and performs tricks to help travelers calm down before boarding their flights.

Words of Wisdom:
“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” -Henry Ford

Episode 461 – Rectal Scans

Giving up sugar is the hardest thing EVER. Prepping for the LSAT was less arduous than this! I keep stuffing avocados in my face and pretending like I don’t want a tangerine or a donut.

Evolutionary speaking, humans aren’t prepared for the amount of sugar they ingest… we just never had it that readily available, so our bodies don’t have a clue what to do with it… so we all just get diabetes XD

Culturally, it’s so hard to stay away from. It’s a treat, dang it! Who doesn’t like treats?

Anyone else on the no sugar bandwagon with me? (And by “no”, I mean mostly no, but probably some because freaking DONUTS are GUD).

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
National Doughnut Day was officially established in 1938 by the Chicago Salvation Army to raise much-needed funds during the Great Depression.

Australian man blocks arrow with mobile phone
Man accused of choking driver for singing Christmas songs in March
John Oliver Hatches A Genius Plot To Ban Robocalls By Robocalling The FCC
Wearable penis camera lets you record your achievements
Italy outraged as court finds victim too ugly to be raped

 

Words of Wisdom:
“As you ramble on through life, Brother,
Whatever be your goal,
Keep your eye upon the doughnut,
And not upon the hole.” 
― Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

Episode 460 – Suck Diamond

Momentum has been lost! The sheetrock guys are not here and it needs to be taped and mudded ;_; They came at 5pm on Tuesday, but we were leaving for a Duke game…

I was home ALL DAY yesterday waiting for them… with the exception of 20 mins. I went out to pick up some neon green hair dye for Jacob (he looks so badass!), and apparently I missed them?

Then, they were meant to be here an HOUR ago today… and have not shown.

Bah. I just want my bathroom to be right.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
The face cards (Kings, Queens and Jacks) are some of the most iconic designs on the planet. However, not many people know that they were created to represent famous faces, including:

  • Prince Charlemagne (King of Hearts)
  • Julius Caesar (King of Diamonds)
  • Alexander the Great (King of Clubs)
  • King David (King of Spades)

World’s No. 1 bridge player suspended for juicing up
Residents in a New Jersey town could face jail time for barking dogs
To close ‘orgasm gap,’ the National Film Board launches game to teach people about the clitoris
TSA Agents Find Rocket-Propelled Grenade Launcher At Pa. Airport

Words of Wisdom:
Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well. -Robert Louis Stevenson

Episode 459 – Doodle Gocs

It was meant to rain all day, but it’s been 60 and sunny… so, I skipped a walk with a friend (because we thought it was going to rain) and went to a CROWDED dance class instead. So many new people were there for some reason o_O I felt encroached on. Everyone has their certain spots on the floor and when new people come in… they don’t know the procedure and just muck everything up.

I did meet a woman who speaks German, though… So that was fun. Her accent is awful, but it’s someone to practice with 😀 YAY! (I am a snob. Don’t @ me.)

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
The vanilla orchid (and its vanilla bean) is the only commercially grown orchid crop (Vanilla planifolia).

Wild parrots are destroying poppies to feed their opium addiction
Wyoming district will open 1-student school next fall
Man delivering food allegedly dips testicles in salsa over low tip
Meet Sheffield man who drinks a pint of his own URINE every day

Words of Wisdom:
Like a lovely orchid, or anything else that’s nurtured, marriage prospers and grows, but if it’s ignored, it withers. -Michael Douglas

Episode 458 – Sorry I’m Like This

I took my mom to a Zumba-like dance class today and it was glorious. Watching someone hop around trying to learn dance moves is so fantastic. She picked them up quickly and everyone was rushing to tell her how great she did. It made me proud. Which is a bit of a reverse from the typical parent/child dynamic, but it was great!

She also told everyone I was trying to kill her… So, there’s that.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
TWOFER: Samurai warriors would smudge their helmets and armor with incense to achieve an aura of invincibility. A Japanese study found that people exposed to incense showed an uptick in brain activity.

Lightsaber fighting is now an official sport in France
Online Petition Calls for Selling Off Montana to Help Settle U.S. Debt
Beer from 1886 shipwreck may yield new brew
Man Convicted for Sneaking Into Seal Beach Home and Sucking Woman’s Toes
Blood of the young won’t spare rich old people from sadness and death, FDA says

Words of Wisdom:
Better do a good deed near at home than go far away to burn incense. -Amelia Earhart