Episode 17 – “These Windows Are So Translucent!”

Praise the great gopher in the sky, this ep went out ON TIME and the ninja monkies were kept at bay! However, Stephen is hyper off his face due to Bawls intake, and Ashley is wicked tired due to never sleeping. We bring you horny hedgehogs, women recycling themselves, virgins raping produce, and wicked sex solicitors forced to dress as chickens. Don’t forget to register on the new forum by clicking here!
Factoid of the Week:
A cockroach can live without it’s head for 10 days

Lovemaking hedgehogs disturb the peace in Germany
Dead woman answers door
Woman recycles herself
Grim Reaper Kitty
Virgins exposed as the secret to good weather
Maid jailed for serving up urine
Necrophelia is ooookay in Wisconsin
Inmate convicted of indecent exposure
Chihuahua takes on rattlesnake
Soliciting sex ends in a fowl arrangment

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Running Time: 44 minutes

Episode 16 – “Zombie MonkieZ Ate Our Podcast”

Ok, this episode was mindblowingly annoying in its fruition. The content is ragingly hilarious and, therefore, MUST be aired, but the dreaded monkey-headed net demons did NOT want us to have a show this week! How could we not entertain you with, bombs, miniature horse poo, embarrassing diarrhea trails, and naked no-handed men? Someone needs to get a leash on their evil net monkeys and tell them to stop giving us issues. After THREE tries we now know that H and H will prevail! All Hail!
Factoid of the Week:
The first novel ever written on a typewriter was The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.

Heat drives student to throw furniture
Moron dad took his 10 year old son bull running
No handed naked man arrested for drunk driving
Doctor misdiagnoses a kid and calls him a “wimp”
Armed robber tries to rob house, then asks for a hug
Couple keeps miniature horse in the kitchen
Woman gets diarrhea at Jo-Ann’s Fabrics and is refused access to the restroom
Horrible people steal $38 from kids at a lemonade stand
College application causes bomb scare

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Running Time: 50 Minutes

Pi and CHiPS News

The Pi and CHiPS Network has brought to you this special announcement. In light of Horseshoes & Hand Grenades being delayed until Sunday, we decided to give you guys a sneak peak of a couple of the shows coming around the corner. Chris and I just wanted to hold you over until the new H&H is released and give you an update on where Pi and CHiPS is at and why on earth we haven’t done a show in a couple months. All your questions will be answered on this special podcast from Pi and CHiPS.
Download it Here (Right-click, Save As…) 

Episode 15 – “Rock Over London, Rock On Chicago!”

This week we bring you a slightly different episode of Horseshoes & Hand Grenades! With Ashley being out of town and without internet this week, I asked my good friend Adam from Pi and CHiPS to join me on the show. This one was completely awesome, and we had some of the weirdest news we’ve ever had in one show. Between guys dressed as trees and another squirrel conspiracy, this is close to being the strangest show in news history in general. So grab yourself a super-caffeinated beverage and relax in front of your PC…or iPod…or other device :).
Factoid of the Week:
It takes an estimated 2,893 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop

Catholic school requests Hell of a name change
Prosecutors cannot find God
Money found in toilets across Japan
Judge with the missing pants still pushing lawsuit
Drunk German is run over by train….doesn’t notice
Squirrel spies seized
Chinese monk teaches “Iron Crotch Kung Fu”
Smelly feet spark police raid
Man robs bank disguised as tree
Ex-marine tackles bank robber

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Running Time: 38 Minutes

Episode 14 – “The Only Good Kitty is a Shaved Kitty”

And Stephen and I are back again in all our insulting glory! We have rabid foxes, pissed grannies, vampyr peacocks, and a wicked contest for our listeners in this episode. We spent all of an hour trolling the net to bring you these gems of stupidity, and we know you will enjoy… because we know where you live. We hope our listeners from the USA enjoyed the fourth this week, but be warned: any drunken act of stupidity on your part might just land you on our show.
Factoid of the Week:
The amount of carbon in the human body could fill about 9,000 pencils 

Anti-Violence rally turns to violence
Book-toting granny pegs thief
Cafe hires only the sexy… for charity
Man beats peacock to death, proclaims it is a vampire
Would you like a slice of pr0n with that?
Garden gnomes are Fl’s weapon of choice
Angelina’s Boobies make you smart
Dinner guest finds more than peas in the freeZer
Blinded by love
Man with shyte-iest luck on earth
5-year-old pwns rabid fox

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Running Time: 40 Minutes

Episode 13 – “Yippee Ki Yay, MotherWAAAHHHHH”

We humbly submit episode 13, literally jam packed with lesbians, bears, cows, and pissed 6-year-olds with shovels. Stephen and I have scoured the internet for morons and their heart-warming stories that make the rest of us feel less stupid. This is the last episode that Stephen and Ashley will be doing in the same location for a while, because Ashley is a putz and going back to school. Skype to the rescue!
Factoid of the Week:
It would take 14.3 Billion fireflies to generate the visible brightness of the sun

Cops called over wedding dress feud
Sheep hired at lawn cutters
Muggers leave calling card
Wife replaced by cow’s head
Idiot tries to sell stolen car… to owner
Florida man’s headache solved by discovery of a bullet
Man throws log at bear and kills it, saving family
Two women accused of having sex in a bathroom in front of a child
Naked man expunged from salon
Man purchases a plasma tv for $4.88 from Wal-Mart
Why women shouldn’t drive

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Running Time: 38 Minutes

Episode 12 – “Your Face is Huge”

Another face-melting episode of Horseshoes & Hand Grenades is out, ready to make your self esteem rise to super hero like levels! That’s right, we’re bringing you fresh, new, human stupidity that will make you feel like you could do no wrong! So grab yourself a BAWLS, a nice cozy chair, sit back, and prepare to be encouraged.
Factoid of the Week
In Tuscon, Arizona, potholes are officially known as pavement deficiencies

Teen Unplugs life machine… because it was noisy
18 Year Old Shoots Friend On A Dare
New York City pays $29,000 for arresting topless woman
Teen gets caught molesting a horse
Man Bursts into flames after being shot with taser gun
Couple falls to their death while having sex on roof
Pig Blood EW!
Gas tanks with teeth
Machete man looking for raccoons at Goony Golf

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Running Time: 39 Minutes

Episode 11 – “Happy Father’s Day Ya Filthy Animal”

Another late show, but with good reason! Ashley is back in Florida, which means the show was made at the super high quality that you all look for. We used our super podcast creation machine to bring you the best of odd news, without a single pop or crackle from our microphones. This episode was chock full of the news you expect, including the usual poop and sex stories. What would Horseshoes & Hand Grenades be like without that?! Enjoy the show!
Factoid of the Week
The largest fossilized dinosaur turd ever found measures 22″ x 8″ x 7.5″

German Squirrel Goes On A Rampage Before An Old Man Kills It With Cane
Missing Prisoner Found Snoring On Roof
Man Fails School Exams For 38th Time
Chinese Patients Allowed To Leave Hospital With IV Drips In Hand
Judge cries over lost pants
Blind man build bridge!
Sex Shuts down airport
Butts faces jail time… for ganking toilet paper
Myspace shot down

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Running Time: 39 Minutes

Episode 10 – “I Made Key Lime Pie…It’s Awesome”

Here is your long awaited episode 10! I know you’ve all been sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for the day that this incredible episode would grace the face of your Podcast downloading utility of choice! Well, we’ve been just as excited about unleashing it on the world. This one was awesome, and we’re very happy that it was our 10th episode. Now we can sit back, relax, and wait for the corporate sponsorships to roll in. Judging by how things are going, we’ll be waiting a while.
Sidenote: Huge thanks to authors  Robert W. Walker and Robert Tinnell for hanging out with Ashley at the Writer’s Conference this weekend! Your encouragement and kind words were very appreciated.

Factoid of the Week:
The first food to be approved by the FDA for artificial color was BUTTER….It’s not really yellow 

Museum thief gets the finger
Drunken Bishop
Georgia Man stabbed with Deer antler
Man Sues over erection…. drink
47 Cats Rescued from House Full of Feces
World’s Largest Penis Erected!
Man Drowns while trying to rescue his cell phone
Fishermen tries to save two drowning morons
Iowa man herds deer with plane

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Running Time: 39 Minutes