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There once was a goldfish who lived in a Bowl,
He swam in circles and searched for a life Goal.
One day he knocked upon the side of his Glass,
And quickly realized that his life was going by so Fast.
He gathered momentum and closed his eyes,
And leapt from his glass prison to meet his demise!

Read that one to your kids…

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

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titcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Goldfish don’t have stomachs and should therefore be fed easily digestible food in lots of small feeding sessions, rather than lots of food at once. This is also why goldfish produce so much waste and why you need a filter to keep their water clean.

Police Arrest Drunk Space Hopper
Judge Takes Nikes Instead of Bail
Constipated Goldfish
Naked Woman Slides Down Chimney of Ex

Words of Wisdom:
A few years ago, the city council of Monza, Italy, barred pet owners from keeping goldfish in curved bowls… saying that it is cruel to keep a fish in a bowl with curved sides because, gazing out, the fish would have a distorted view of reality. But how do we know we have the true, undistorted picture of reality? – Stephen Hawking

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Last Episode of 2014 and I’m SICK!  I sound like a whale and a smoker had a baby… Stephen sounds awesome, though!  I’ve been watching season two of Arrow all day because that is what one does when one has Ebola and loads of snot in their face.  Today we cram 4 hours of awesome into 30 mins of games, resolutions (or things I like to think a good many people are going to fail miserably at in 2015) and insane news.  Thanks for joining us in 2014!  Can’t wait to see you guys next year!  

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

Man Sells Hitchhiker Kitty
Shoplifter Smears Poo
Things Ppl Are Going to Fail at in 2015 (resolutions?)

Words of Wisdom:
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s the Holiday episode of H&H! The one where Smash gets a bit…smashed, Stephen writes a custom mad lib, and they have a jolly good time in general!

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow
If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!
iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Flaming Anus is apparently a band… A really freaking good band… I am torn between being upset that they took our awful fake band name and really wanting them to come on the show.  Someone make them come on our show!  They have a MySpace page…

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Winter lasts for 21 years on Uranus

Botched proposal Evacuates Building
Burnt Bacon Bits
Get Flushed!

Words of Wisdom:
Nothing exists except atoms and empty space; everything else is opinion. -Democritus

I’m going to tap my niche… I don’t thing that means whoring myself out, but I’m not entirely sure.  I HATE MY JOB!  Join Stephen and I as we discuss how much my freaking job sucks and how I need a new one before I drive off a cliff on purpose! 

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
You are more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark.

Words of Wisdom:
“Life is a journey and if you fall in love with the journey you will be in love forever.” —Peter Hagerty

Pokemon and marriage and breakfast! 

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Starch is used as a binder in the production of paper. It is the use of a starch coating that controls ink penetration when printing. Cheaper papers do not use as much starch, and this is why your elbows get black when you are leaning over your morning paper.

Roller Coaster House
Where does sausage come from?
ur Farts Smell of Roses

Words of Wisdom:
I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition. – Martha Washington

Why Google, WHYYYYYY?  Why for you do underlining and junk when I don’t want the underlining? I make bad coffee.  

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

Irish ppl Fight Over Frozen Doll (they weren’t even drunk)
Naked Man Falls Through Ceiling and Attacks Man
Dog Search for Fatbergs
Lego Stripper

Words of Wisdom:
Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality. – Nikos Kazantzakis

I’m very sleepy.  We paused the show to make coffee.  Well, sugar milk with coffee flavor… I seriously cannot stop yawning and I have a 45 min drive home and I NEED COFFEE!  WHY IS IT NOT READY YET?!@#  WHYYYYYYYYYYY!  

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second!

Polish Woman Wakes From Dead with Cold
Dude Tries to Shove Chainsaw Down His Pants
Family Lost in Corn MaZe

Words of Wisdom:
For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone. – Audrey Hepburn

I wrote possibly the greatest sentence known to man… and squarespace deleted my WHOLE FREAKING DRAFT.  So, you get nothing.  And you will like it.  

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
The longest musical performance in history is currently taking place in the church of St. Burchardi in Halberstadt, Germany. The performance of John Cage’s “Organ²/ASLSP (As Slow As Possible)” started on Sept. 5, 2001, and is set to finish in 2640. The last time the note changed was October 2013; the next change isn’t due until 2020.

Naked Man Masterbates in Garden
This is annoying
Kid Missing a Week Found in IKEA
 

Words of Wisdom:
The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself.  – Lao Tzu

So, this show addresses a VERY important and relevant question: Can Zombies Climb?  No, in fact they cannot… but you complete asshats decided (for whatever the hell completely illogical reason) that they could.  YOU’RE WRONG.  So.  Very.  Wrong.  I mean, I guess we did notes or something… but, for the most part… I cried about how you BETRAYED me with your amazingly stupid lack of reasoning.  I HATE YOU ALL.  Jerks.  

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Every day 20 banks are robbed. The average take is $2,500!

Tigger Caught Having Sex In Bathroom Stall
Man Runs Himself Over
Choco Milk UNder Guard  

Words of Wisdom:
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. – Albert Einstein