Episode 495 – Sex Dust Moon Juice

The half-life of an isotope is the time on average that it takes for half of the atoms in a sample to decay.

For example, the half-life of carbon-14 is 5730 years. This means that if you have a sample of carbon-14 with 1,000 atoms, 500 of these atoms are expected to decay over the course of 5730 years. Some of the atoms may decay right away, while others will not decay for many thousands more years.

The thing to remember about half-life is that it is a probability. In the example above, 500 atoms are “expected” to decay. This is not a guarantee for one specific sample. It is just what will happen on average over the course of billions and billions of atoms.

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Factoid of the Week:
Though it was Henri Becquerel that discovered radioactivity in 1896, it was Marie Curie who coined the term.

Woman forced to take pregnancy test before boarding flight to Saipan
Family dog gives birth to lime green puppy named Hulk
Gwyneth Paltrow has released a vagina candle, naturally
NC town rejects solar farm, fearing it would suck up all the energy from the sun
Kansas Man Asks Judge To Allow Him To Have Sword Fight With Ex-Wife

Words of Wisdom:
Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less. -Marie Curie

Episode 494 – Sarlacc Vajayjay

In Greece the word drakōn, from which the English word was derived, was used originally for any large serpent (see sea serpent), and the dragon of mythology, whatever shape it later assumed, remained essentially a snake.

In general, in the Middle Eastern world, where snakes are large and deadly, the serpent or dragon was symbolic of the principle of evil. But the Greeks and Romans, though accepting the Middle Eastern idea of the serpent as an evil power, also at times conceived the drakontes as beneficent powers—sharp-eyed dwellers in the inner parts of the Earth.

On the whole, however, the evil reputation of dragons was the stronger, and in Europe it outlived the other. Christianity confused the ancient benevolent and malevolent serpent deities in a common condemnation. In Christian art the dragon came to be symbolic of sin and paganism and, as such, was depicted prostrate beneath the heels of saints and martyrs.

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Factoid of the Week:
The name dragon is derived from the Latin word ‘draconem’ which means ‘huge serpent’.

North Korean mother ‘faces prison for saving her children from a house fire instead of portrait of Kim Jong-il’
Horny Burglar Breaks into Home Owners Home and Sucks Their Toes While Asleep
Woman grows pubic hair on face after doctors use groin skin to repair injury
CES 2020: This smart taint band-aid wants to fix premature ejaculation

Words of Wisdom:
So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their ending! -J. R. R. Tolkien

Episode 493 – RoboPenis in the HooHah

Image result for new years pictures"

The first recorded New Year’s celebration dates back 4,000 years to Babylon, when the first moon after the spring equinox marked a new year. In 46 B.C., Julius Caesar created a calendar with Jan. 1 as the first day of the year, partly to honor Janus – the god with two faces, one looking forward and one looking backward. He is the god of beginnings, transitions, gates, doors, passages, and endings.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

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Factoid of the Week:
Black eyed peas, ham, and cabbage are considered good luck if you eat them on New Year’s Eve or Day because it is believed they will bring you money. Lobster and chicken are considered bad luck because lobsters can move backward and chickens can scratch in reverse, so it is thought these foods could bring a reversal of fortune.

Drunk driver five times over the limit caught in car missing two tires
A 12-year-old got a magnifying glass for Christmas — and set his lawn on fire
Woman accused of trying to use her dog’s pee for a drug test
Man arrested after ripping other man’s testicles during fight, police say

Words of Wisdom:
Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. -Helen Keller

Episode 492 – Oozing Moisture

Christmas in Iceland is a colorful fusion of religion, fairy tales and folklore. Instead of one Santa, the kids are visited by 13 Yule Lads that either reward children for good behavior or punish them if they were naughty. The holiday period begins 13 days before Christmas and each day one of the 13 Yule Lads comes to houses and fills the shoes that kids leave under the Christmas tree either with sweets and small gifts or rotting potatoes, depending on how that particular child has behaved on the preceding day. The mother of Yule Lads, half-troll, half-beast, horrifying old woman Grýla, kidnaps naughty kids and boils them in her cauldron.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

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Factoid of the Week:
Japanese people traditionally eat at KFC for Christmas dinner – the closest food to turkey that you can get in Japan. It’s all thanks to a successful “Kentucky for Christmas!” marketing campaign in 1947. First aimed at foreigners, KFC offered a “Christmas dinner” that contained chicken and wine – a meal that remotely resembled the food expats and tourists had at home. After a huge success, Kentucky Fried Chicken started promoting this offer every year, until the fast food chain became strongly associated with the holiday season.

Car explodes after driver sprays ‘excessive’ amount of air freshener before lighting cigarette
Bearded man robs bank, gifts money, then yells ‘Merry Christmas’
Man has a seven-inch-long glass bottle stuck in his rectum after ‘using it to scratch his itchy backside’
Restaurant tried to hook customers with opium noodles

Words of Wisdom:
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.– Victor Borge

Episode 491 – Barely a News Podcast

In Germany, Heiligabend, or Christmas Eve, is said to be a magical time when the pure in heart can hear animals talking. They can also see that rivers turn into wine, Christmas tree blossoms bear fruit, mountains open, revealing gems hidden inside and bell ringing can be heard from the bottom of the sea. The beer is strong…

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

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Factoid of the Week:
Rudolph’s red nose is probably the result of a parasitic infection of his respiratory system. According to Roger Highfield, the author of the book “The Physics of Christmas: From the Aerodynamics of Reindeer to the Thermodynamics of Turkey” the world’s most famous reindeer has a red nose due to a parasite. However, Rudolf’s relationship with his parasite is symbiotic: after all, the red nose illuminates the path through the winter night for the whole reindeer team.

Brazilian man arrested for impersonating mum in driving test
New Jersey farmer dresses cows in giant-sized Christmas sweaters
Man whose farts can kill mosquitoes paid millions by mosquito repellent company
Man Serves Six-Month Jail Sentence for Eating Cookie Without Permission During Treatment Stay

Words of Wisdom:
There’s naught, no doubt, so much the spirit calms as rum and true religion. -Lord Byron

Episode 490 – Goldfish Memory

Image result for christmas picture

 The song ‘Jingle Bells’ was written in 1857 by James Lord Pierpont and published under the title “One Horse Open Sleigh”. It was supposed to be played in the composer’s Sunday school class during Thanksgiving as a way to commemorate the famed Medford sleigh races. 

“Jingle Bells” was also the first song to be broadcast from space.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

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Factoid of the Week:
“Jingle Bells” was written for Thanksgiving, not Christmas.

Russian cows get VR headsets ‘to reduce anxiety’
Loaded gun inside baby gift bought at Florida thrift store
Naked cleaning firm opens in Newcastle charging clients up to 100$ an hour
Electric eel powers Christmas tree lights at Tennessee aquarium

Words of Wisdom:
I detest ‘Jingle Bells,’ ‘White Christmas,’ ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,’ and the obscene spending bonanza that nowadays seems to occupy not just December, but November and much of October, too. – Richard Dawkins

The Bennie Ball Interview

A few nights back we had the privilege of interviewing Bennie Ball! Who is he? Well, he’s the guy that defended his apartment, and possibly his own life, with a dungeon axe! An assailant barged into Bennie’s apartment and he took matters into his own hands.

Bennie is a rad human being, and we had such a good time chatting with him. We hope you enjoy it!

Bennie on Twitter

Kaw News on Facebook

Episode 489 – Fairly Well Known Streamers

I may have ordered a spicy dish of lamb and noodles at a dumpling place tonight. It was like eating a delicious hive of bees… and I may actually die later.

TELL US WHAT YOU’RE THANKFUL FOR! Send emails, tweets, space-plasma messages (those are a thing, right?)

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
No forks at the first Thanksgiving! The first Thanksgiving was eaten with spoons and knives — but no forks! That’s right, forks weren’t even introduced to the Pilgrims until 10 years later and weren’t a popular utensil until the 18th century.

Hotel room costs $1, but it’s livestreamed at all times
Michigan man uses battle axe to fight off intruder
Lion removed from house opposite school in Lagos, Nigeria
Florida marijuana: Get paid $3000 a month to smoke and review marijuana

Words of Wisdom:
“Pride slays thanksgiving, but a humble mind is the soil out of which thanks naturally grow. A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves.”– Henry Ward Beecher

Episode 488 – Surprise Testicle

This week, I am thankful that Sub is here! He got to fly in and spend the week with us, and it’s been great!

The poor kid is prolly traumatized now, however >_>

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

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Factoid of the Week:
Abraham Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving a national holiday on October 3, 1863. Sarah Joseph Hale, the woman who wrote “Mary Had A Little Lamb,” convinced Lincoln to make Thanksgiving a national holiday after writing letters for 17 years.

South African gin company infuses their alcohol with elephant dung
Iowa asked researchers to break into a courthouse, then it arrested them
Cincinnati-area high school announces mandatory drug tests for all students beginning in 2020
YouTuber’s gender reveal goes viral as Paige Ginn farts coloured powder

Words of Wisdom:
Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings. -William Arthur Ward

Episode 487 – Steviana Jones and the Temple of Ash

In Medieval Europe, owls were thought to be witches, and to hear an owl’s call meant someone was about to die (fun). The word “witch” comes from the Old English wicce, meaning “wise woman.” In fact, wiccan were highly respected people at one time. According to popular belief, witches held one of their two main meetings, or sabbats, on Halloween night.

In Medieval Europe, owls were thought to be witches, and to hear an owl’s call meant someone was about to die (fun). The word “witch” comes from the Old English wicce, meaning “wise woman.” In fact, wiccan were highly respected people at one time. According to popular belief, witches held one of their two main meetings, or sabbats, on Halloween night.

Speaking of things that represent Halloween, ever wonder where the typical Halloween colors came from? Orange is a symbol of strength and endurance and, along with brown and gold, stands for the harvest and autumn. Black is typically a symbol of death and darkness and acts as a reminder that Halloween once was a festival that marked the boundaries between life and death.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, DORKS!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

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Factoid of the Week:
During the pre-Halloween celebration of Samhain, bonfires were lit to ensure the sun would return after the long, hard winter. Often Druid priests would throw the bones of cattle into the flames and, hence, “bone fire” became “bonfire.”

Mourners at a funeral are accidentally fed drug-laced cake
Colorado Man’s House Blown To Pieces By Cops Looking For Shoplifting Suspect, Court Says He’s Owed Nothing
Students called a suicide hotline listed on their ID cards. It was sex hotline instead
Man Sticks Cannabis In His Nose, Forgets About It For 18 Years

Words of Wisdom:
It makes sense that a witch lives in a swamp. -Jordan Peterson