Episode 520 – Diddle U Quickly

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Factoid of the Week:
The human body contains enough potential energy that if it were to all be released at once it would be the equivalent force of 30 hydrogen bombs

Couple win fight to name son Lucifer after registrar warned he ‘won’t succeed in life’
1968 Ford Mustang sells for record-breaking $3.85 million
Police used drones to monitor nudity at a Minnesota beach
POOP PUMP

Episode 519 – Cocaine, Weiners, and Cannibals

We went long on this one you guys! Sometimes Horseshoes & Hand Grenades is like medicine. You have a long week or a tough day and H&H is right there to lift you out of the doldrums. We laughed and laughed, and the audience was rocking as usual. You should be at the live show sometime. It’s the greatest.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
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Factoid of the Week:
One honey bee has to fly about 90,000 miles – three times around the globe – and gather nectar from two million flowers to make one pound of honey.

$1.5 million dollar house offered as prize in $2.55 raffle
New York Man Fakes Death To Avoid Jail But Typo Gives Him Away
Man Steals Massive Dildo From Sex Shop And He’s Still At Large
Man’s bladder explodes after holding in pee for 18 hours after beer binge

Words of Wisdom:
“We ought to do good to others as simply as a horse runs, or a bee makes honey, or a vine bears grapes season after season without thinking of the grapes it has borne.” – Marcus Aurelius

Episode 518 – Residual Soap

Man, neither Ashley or I wanted to do a show tonight, but we did one! We had such an amazing time! The audience cheers us up every time and it was amazing. We laughed so much. We also found out a ton regarding how we shower differently. I honestly didn’t know there was more than one way to do it.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
When a comet is heated by the Sun, its ices begin to sublimate. The mixture of ice crystals and dust blows away from the comet nucleus in the solar wind, creating a pair of tails. The dust tail is what we normally see when we view comets from Earth.

Indian Man Wears Solid Gold-Plated Face Mask To Protect Against COVID-19
Police Capture Kangaroo Hopping Through Fort Lauderdale
Doctors remove live worm from woman’s tonsil
Jeweler buries $1M of treasure around Michigan and is selling tickets for a quest

Words of Wisdom:
Have a dream, chase it down, jump over every single hurdle, and run through fire and ice to get there.
-Whitney Wolfe Herd

Episode 517 – The Goo That Becomes You

I’ve decided that maybe having a drink before the show is a decent idea. Between Ashley’s ADHD and my white russian, we really had a great time. I think everyone in the chat had a great time too and that’s really the only measure we have to how awesome this show is. I’m pretty happy with it. Let’s do it again! Enjoy this thing, nerds!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
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Factoid of the Week:

Nature is a brutal place, so during brooding, penguins are reluctant to leave their eggs unguarded in the nest—even to relieve themselves. But one also does not wish to sully the nest with feces. So instead, a brooding penguin will hunker down, point its rear end away from the nest, lift its tail, and let fly a projectile of poo—thereby ensuring both the safety of the eggs and the cleanliness of the nest. Using Newton’s equations, the maximum flying distance of penguin poo was calculated to be 1.34 meters, or 4.39 feet.

Japan Is Asking People Not To Scream On Rides At Its Reopened Theme Parks
Man in stolen vehicle flees officers, crashes into woman in separate stolen vehicle in Newberg; both arrested
Florida man known as ‘Fat Boy’ hides marijuana in belly fat
‘No one told me’: Samoan man serves five more years in prison than he had to

Words of Wisdom:
We build too many walls and not enough bridge – Isaac Newton

Episode 516 – GrapeBerries

Knots! They are a thing. I’ve always wanted to be a better knotter. Until then, though, I’ll settle for being a pretty great podcast host with some pretty great friends who make this show worth doing. Seriously, man, the people that show up for the live show are awesome. So are you for downloading and listening to it later. You guys make our day! Enjoy the show.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
To help loosen a stubborn knot, roll it with your palm against a rock. For really stuck knots, such as those found in manky tied slings, soak the knot in water. Conversely, to create a more secure knot, soak it before tying, cinch it tight, and let it dry.

Barcelona Opera Reopens With An Audience Of Plants
Firm to offer balloon rides from Alaska to the edge of space
Jurassic Park Tops Weekend Box Office 27 Years After Release
Pandemic may be contributing to increase in male genital injuries, UBC researchers say
NASA’s ‘smell of space’ is available as a perfume

Words of Wisdom:
When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

Episode 515 – Front Yard Boner

5 Romantic Facts About Roses That You Will Want to Know for Your ...

The world’s oldest living rose is believed to be 1,000 years old. It grows on the wall of the Cathedral of Hildesheim in Germany and its presence is documented since A.D. 815. According to the legend, the rosebush symbolizes the prosperity of the city of Hildesheim; as long as it flourishes, Hildesheim will not decline. In 1945 allied bombers destroyed the cathedral, yet the bush survived. Its roots remained intact beneath the debris, and soon the bush was growing strong again.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
The buds of the tiniest roses are the size of a grain of rice.

Kosher lube puts oral sex on the menu for Orthodox Jews
Woman sues for paternity test on goats
Man smuggling cocaine in artificial penis caught at Brussels Airport
Wilton man arrested for displaying wooden penis statue in front yard

Words of Wisdom:
A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world. -Leo Buscaglia

Episode 514 – Topless Dragon

An underwater canyon

There are more historic artifacts under the sea than in all of the world’s museums. Around 1,000 shipwrecks lie off the Florida Keys alone, some of which are within the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary. Other underwater museums have been created in recent years, including the Mediterranean’s submerged bronze statue, Christ of the Abyss.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
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Factoid of the Week:
The majority of life on Earth is aquatic. As so much of the Earth’s surface is underwater, it comes as no surprise that marine species outnumber those on land. But, it’s an incredible 94 per cent of the Earth’s living species that exist within the oceans.

Swiss authorities search for the person who left $191,000 of gold bars on a train
Michigan brewery makes beer deliveries via seaplane
Vienna man fined 500 euros for deliberate ‘massive flatulence’
Italian woman makes 90 stuffed olives while undergoing brain surgery

Words of Wisdom:
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. -Mahatma Gandhi

Episode 513 – Is It Quell?

This show was a great return after taking a week off. We laughed, we struggled to get through stories, and we had more random tangential thoughts that we’ve had in a while. The world is a mess, but we really wanted to bring some joy. I think we succeeded in our mission

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
For more than 2000 years, ancient texts from Egypt, Greece and India talk about powerful abilities of onion as sexual aphrodisiac. For example Egyptian celibate priest were forbidden to eat onion because of the onions effect on their libido. In medieval Europe, onion was traditionally consumed by newlyweds on the morning after their wedding night.

Monkeys steal coronavirus blood samples in India
Man Faked Wife’s Disappearance So She’d Avoid Prison
French Footballer suspended for biting opponents penis
Doctors remove cell phone charging cable from man’s urinary bladder

Words of Wisdom:
“Life is an onion – you peel it year by year and sometimes cry.” ― Carl Sandburg



Episode 512 – Waterboarding Pigeons

We did it! Another show in the can! I hope this show is making you laugh at least a little bit during this disaster that is COVID-19. It’s a mess out there, but in here, it feels pretty great. Enjoy the show!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
With venom 15 times stronger than a rattlesnake’s, black widows are one of the most feared spiders in the world, and the most venomous in North America

India captures ‘spy’ pigeon suspected of working for Pakistan
Texas jail says guards didn’t notice inmate giving birth
Sex workers say ‘reverse cowgirl’ position prevents spread of coronavirus
Boys let black widow bite them in hopes of turning into Spider-Man

Words of Wisdom:

Discrimination must always be drawn out, like venom from the wound.

-Sharon Needles

Episode 511 – Close Your Eyes and Think of England

Dreaming clipart i have a dream, Dreaming i have a dream ...

According to sleep experts, teens need at least 8 to 10 hours of sleep each night, compared to an average of seven to nine hours each night for most adults. Their internal biological clocks also keep them awake later in the evening and keep them sleeping later in the morning. However, many schools begin classes early in the morning, when a teenager’s body wants to be asleep. As a result, many teens come to school too sleepy to learn, through no fault of their own.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Babies begin sleep in active sleep and spend equal amounts of time in active and quiet sleep. This means 50% of baby sleep is relatively light and often filled with dreams. For adults, The average length of the first NREM-REM sleep cycle is between 70 and 100 minutes; the average length of the second and later cycles is about 90 to 120 minutes.

Woman in China sends 1,000 kg onions to ex-boyfriend to make him cry
Five-year-old pulled over in US while driving to California
Peruvian mayor poses as corpse to avoid arrest for flouting lockdown
Bodybuilder Tracy Kiss claims she fights off coronavirus with sperm smoothies

Words of Wisdom:
Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death. -Arthur Schopenhauer