Episode 425 – I Am Not Clickbait

When in High School, I used to listen to Aerosmith a good deal… not entirely sure how I even found out about them, but it was essentially the only music I owned (Hah, remember when you used to buy music?). Since then, my tastes have evolved into a sort of hybrid of death metal, chainsaws, electrocution, and tinky-tink fairy puff. That all goes together smoothly, right? I only mention any of this because I found a Russian metal cover of Dream On… it was awesome.

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Factoid of the Week:
The pear was sacred to two goddesses in Greek mythology – Hera and Aphrodite. It was also sacred to the corresponding Roman goddesses, Juno and Venus, as well as to Pomona, the Roman goddess of fruitfulness.

Posh people are now taking Ecstasy with BRIE in new middle-class dinner party craze
A Florida couple stole a motorized cart from Walmart — and then drove it to a bar
This Bitcoin Pizza Day, Remember Not to Spend Bitcoins on Pizza
Power Outage Triggers ‘Extreme Zombie Activity’ Alert In Florida City

Words of Wisdom:
Whatever you do, do it gently and unhurriedly, because virtue is not a pear to be eaten in one bite.  –Seraphim of Sarov

Episode 430

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Factoid of the Week:
Factoid goes here

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Words of Wisdom:
Words of Wisdom go here 

Episode 424 – Anal Contusion

I decided to do some HIIT intervals while walking today and I have bruised the bottom of my foot from running sprints. So, yay! That’s been fun. I thought I had something on the pad of my foot, and then I realized I just smashed it so hard while sprinting like a wild animal was after me that I squashed my bones against the fat of my poor footie and now I must wear squishy shoes in the house so I can walk (you’re welcome for that amazing run-on sentence).

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

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Factoid of the Week:
A bruise is medically referred to as a contusion and occur when tiny blood vessels are damaged or broken.

$85 million New York condo comes with a trip to space
North Texas school ends birthday spankings after complaints, but parents defend the tradition
Woman caught on camera pooping on floor at Tim Hortons and throwing it at employee
Woman fired after cops seize laxative-laced brownies

Words of Wisdom:
Authority without wisdom is like a heavy ax without an edge, fitter to bruise than polish. -Anne Bradstreet

Episode 423 – Swede’s Balls

I am not a petite person.  I am 5’9″ (5 inches taller than the average for the USA), and I have a goodly amount of muscle… which is GREAT if I were living with the Amazonians on Themyscira. Today, while I was in a barre class (ballerinas with weighted poles to make it harder because why make anything fun?), a lady told me that I MUST be a softball player. Her husband coaches high school softball and I look just like one of the players… because my shoulders are so big…  add that to the fact that I was a foot taller than everyone in the class and someone asking me if I wanted to look like a man earlier in the week… and I give up -_- #sarahconnor

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

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Factoid of the Week:
The average height of a female in the USA is 5’ 3.5″ and the average male is 5’9”.

My whole life has been a lie’: Sweden admits meatballs are Turkish
$600000 Flies Over Highway After Brinks Truck Door Opens
Hello, Yes, 911? There’s A Waitlist For These $168 Thong Jeans
S Korean cleaner may lose out after finding gold in bin

Words of Wisdom:
The true way to be humble is not to stoop until you are smaller than yourself, but to stand at your real height against some higher nature that will show you what the real smallness of your greatness is. -Phillips Brooks

Episode 422 – Balls Deep in Fajitas

Workout today was swing, salsa, bellydance, and some parody of playground antics. We lined up, faced each other, and ran across the room skipping and shuffling until we zipped in between one another. We also all held hands and ran around in a circle. Acting twelve is a great deal of fun… and a decent workout apparently!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

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Factoid of the Week:
Robot comes from the Czech word “robota” which means “forced work or labor.”

Argentinian officers fired after claiming mice ate half a ton of missing marijuana
Texas man sentenced to 50 years for $1.2M theft of fajitas
Madagascar officials discover 10,000 stolen tortoises crawling in home after reports of ‘rancid’ stench
‘No to sex on roundabouts’, Norway tells high school graduates

Words of Wisdom:
Drinking a cup of coffee with your eyes closed isn’t a sophisticated task for a person, but it’s hard for a robot.  – Vijay Kumar

Episode 421 – Red Hot Diapers

Did you know that wedding dresses run small? That’s right, dresses that bride’s wear on “the most special day of their lives” run small in order to make an already stressed out lady feel like she’s a massive fatass and should starve herself to fit into her normal size. So, that’s awesome.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Seventeen tons of gold are made into wedding rings each year in the United States. BONUS! Because eyebrows are considered intensely alluring in Asia, historically the bride’s eyebrows were shaved entirely, rendering her powerless to attract a man

Man suing hospital and surgeon for removing teeth ‘in error’
Florida Woman Claims Wind Blew Cocaine Into Her Purse
Mystery Mummy Found in Ceiling of Minneapolis Department Store
Substitute Teacher Ran Classroom ‘Fight Club’ At Montville High School

Words of Wisdom:
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. –Lao Tzu

Episode 420 – Shaved and Tapered

I realized that I am basically a college student and will forever be one. My place is a wreck, I have stuff due I haven’t even started on, I didn’t read my book for my book report I was meant to, I’m going out EVERY night to party instead of stay home and work toward my goals… Jacob kind of reminds me of a professor, so I’m sleeping with one of those too…

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

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Factoid of the Week:
Roman soldiers were sometimes paid in salt – which is where the word ‘salary’ comes from. 

Go get Meg’s book! Her Dark Inheritance

Train carrying 10 million pounds of human feces stranded in Alabama
‘Zombie-Like’ Raccoons Standing on Their Hind Legs Are Terrorizing a Town in Ohio
Connecticut Driving Test Ends With Car in DMV Window
The ‘condom snorting challenge’ is every parent’s worst nightmare

Words of Wisdom:
The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea. – Isak Dinesen

 

Episode 419 – Furry Tree Ninjas

It’s so glorious outside. I have all the windows open and I’m melting. It feels fantastic. Granted, I worked out and then took a massively hot bath… and now I really am melting. My computer is hot on my lap too. I need a pool. You don’t know you’re hot when you swim. Also, I’m pretty sure my hair is never going to dry… I just got a spam call that I get EVERY EFFING DAY and I want it to DIE. X(

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

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Factoid of the Week:
A world record for the longest conga dance line was set by 119,986 people in Miami in 1988.

‘Orange snow’ baffles eastern Europeans
Jury botches form, clerk mistakenly announces death sentence
Woman plays flute while undergoing brain surgery (there is a video)
Dunkin’ Donuts selling doughnut-themed sneakers

Words of Wisdom:
Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf. -Rabindranath Tagore

Episode 418 – Circle-Shaped Bumholes

Well, I finally went full hippie. Or fully insane. Not sure which one yet. The other night, while I lay in bed peaceful and still, I imagined that my brain pierced the cosmos with a spike that originated from my head. Yeah. I literally imagined it. While I was awake. It was in black and white (I dream in color) and I literally imagined a white spike of energy exploding out of my cranium and piercing the layers of the cosmos (it’s cake-like apparently). So, there’s that.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
In the U.S. alone, more than 10 billion doughnuts are made every year.

Man Driving With Fake Homer Simpson License Pulled Over by Police
Wisconsin Police Searching for Serial Toilet Clogger
Florida men accused of trying to burn down house using Ragu spaghetti sauce
San Antonio apartments test dog DNA to catch tenants who don’t scoop

Words of Wisdom:
Whether you take the doughnut hole as a blank space or as an entity unto itself is a purely metaphysical question and does not affect the taste of the doughnut one bit.Haruki Murakami, A Wild Sheep Chase

Episode 417: Tossing Beaver Salad

I am in poor shape. Today marks the third day of adding cardio to my yoga practice… and my muscles are crying out in pain and wondering what they did to deserve such harsh treatment. How did I let myself get to the point where three bloody days of moving for an hour has destroyed me? Guys. Halp. Workout with me so we can all be in pain together!  Yes? Yes.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Aaron Star teaches “Hot Nude Yoga” in a Chelsea studio. The classes are men-only, and there are only two rules: “no kissing and no touching penises.

Passenger stripped naked, watched porn and attacked airline crew during flight
Hartford Police Say Man Drove Stolen Car to Court To Face Stolen Car Charge
Butcher charged with cutting off son’s hand over porn addiction
Utah State Bar accidentally emails image of topless woman to every lawyer in the state

Words of Wisdom:
The attitude of gratitude is the highest yoga. ~ Yogi Bhajan