Episode 414 – Chickpeas Be Poppin

I think the grey skies have sucked the life out of me the last couple days. I have zero will to do anything, BUT I don’t want to do nothing either. I am stuck in this odd limbo of not wanting to exert effort, but also wanting to be entertained by something other than an electronic device (that’s that she said). Do you guys ever get like that? What do you do to fix it?

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Factoid of the Week:
There are more twins born in Central Africa than in anywhere else in the developing world.

Mexican police find tiger cub sent by express mail
Woman arrives home to find neighbor’s dog riding her pony
Study reveals chemical in McDonald’s french fries may be cure for baldness
Girl Scout sells 300 boxes of cookies outside marijuana store

Words of Wisdom:
My strength and my weakness are twins in the same womb. -Marge Piercy

Episode 413 – Kielbasa Sausage

I made chai tea from scratch! It is currently burning my throat and I LOVE it! Also, I need cardamom. I didn’t have any, so I just made it without, but now I wonder how much better it would be with it. Right now it is really peppery and gingery… which is so good with me. Also, I learned that double spacing after a period is wrong. So that’s been fun to adjust.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
The latin name for flounder, Paralichthys lethosigma, literally means “parallel fish that forgot its spots.”

Pulp Fiction:  Cops find 9000 pounds of stolen oranges squeezed into cars
Dog approved for unemployment benefits of $360 a week
Buddhist Monk Charged With Stashing 4 Million Meth Pills in Monastery
Flight with 85 plumbers on board forced to return to airport due to toilet trouble

Words of Wisdom:
Many people flounder about in life because they do not have a purpose, an objective toward which to work. -George Halas

Episode 412 – Beet Juice Jamboree

I started doing yoga again on a daily basis… and I’m sore.  Why do people stop doing things that are good for them?  It just makes starting back so much harder.  The only habit I habitually (hah) keep is flossing my teeth.  I have no idea why.  Why, actually, I do.  I am obsessed with my teeth (and not having them fall out), so I am terrified NOT to floss.  I don’t want to be at the dentist more than I have to.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
In beet folklore and some cultures, falling in love was considered a result of a couple eating from the same beetroot. 

Nutella ‘riots’ spread across French supermarkets
Man claims he was sleepwalking during Oklahoma City burglary
‘Meteor’ that caused buzz turns out to be human waste discarded by airplane

Words of Wisdom:
Breathe properly. Stay curious. And eat your beets. – Tom Robbins

Episode 411 – Snow Cream

I wanna go play in the snow.  I have no buddy to play with me, though.  This is a sad thing.  It’s getting all dark and the snow is turning melty, but I wanna run around for five minutes like a maniac and come in and drink hot chocolate.  Ooooooooooohh, that sounds yummy.  Hot chocolate is needed.  I shall be drinking it during the show.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
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Factoid of the Week:
The smell of chocolate increases theta brain waves, which triggers relaxation. 

IKEA Offers Discount…If You Pee On a Magazine
Decades of semen squirting land offender in state prison
‘Tide Pods Challenge’ is the newest deadly trend among teenagers
Pornhub usage spiked in Hawaii after false ballistic missile alert

Words of Wisdom:
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. -Charles M. Schulz

Episode 410 – Patient Zero

It has been freaking COLD the last 7 days!  There was this storm that reminded me of every disaster movie ever (they are calling it a “Bomb Cyclone” which doesn’t help it feel any less like a movie).  It would behoove me to get groceries and to leave the house, but noooooooooo.  I like feeling my appendages! Also, now I have the flu.  Yay.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
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Factoid of the Week:
In 1988, a scientist found two identical snow crystals. They came from a storm in Wisconsin.

Belgian traveller kicked out of NZ after trying to smuggle sausages
Man rips urinal off a pub’s wall — then runs wet and naked in the woods to escape
Tourist ‘overdoses on Viagra’, walks naked through airport throwing feces
Las Vegas strip club draws in CES crowd with robot strippers

Words of Wisdom:
Advice is like snow – the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.  – Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Episode 409 – Fickle Flaxseeds

We hope your first few days of the new year have been AMAZING!  I have to admit to some trepidation as the last several years (ok, since 2012) have been a bit… rough.  HOWEVER, this year is beautiful so far!  Snow days, friends, family, and my optometrist not getting my axis right on my contacts!  Hello beautiful, burry world!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
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Factoid of the Week:
Soft contact lenses were first introduced to the U.S. in 1971 (hard lenses first entered the market around 1938).

Court orders dentist to pay his own mother for raising him
Trendy ‘Raw Water’ Can Reportedly Give You Hepatitis, Other Diseases
Thai penis whitening fad drives social media nuts
Woman with Crohn’s Disease actually had Heinz Ketchup packet stuck in her intestines for six years  

Words of Wisdom:
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Episode 408 – Pound It

This past week has been amazing.  Everything was great (including the amount of cheetos consumed), Christmas went super (food and family and friends, oh my!), and fun times were had.  We didn’t get to watch Die Hard, BUT I am going to watch it on New Years 😀  Yay!  We will see you in 2018 for another year of me wearing my damn cat ears backwards because I was too out of it to notice.  SO many Fail.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
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Factoid of the Week:
Rum Balls are delicious and should be eaten with friends. 

Woman accused of biting man’s face over online friend request
Dressing Up as Batman May Help Boost Your Productivity
Enormous mural of erect penis briefly pops up in New York
Man to have surgery for injuries sustained chasing monkey that stole his favorite Steelers cap

Words of Wisdom:
Time is an illusion.  Lunchtime doubly so.  -Douglas Adams

Episode 407 – One True Naked

It’s cold.  I’m cold.  I have fifteen layers of clothing on, and I’m made of ice.  I’m not entirely sure how I am typing because I cannot feel my fingers.  Or my toes.  Make it stop.  Make the cold not cold anymore.  Granted, it is meant to be a billion degrees on Christmas.  So, this is backwards.  It should snow 45 feet on Christmas on then be warm the rest of the year.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs inappropriate jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Boanthropy is a psychological disorder in which the sufferer believes he or she is a cow or ox. The most famous sufferer of this condition was King Nebuchadnezzar, who in the Book of Daniel “was driven from men and did eat grass as oxen”.

Woman Prefers Sex with Ghosts
Man Strips Naked and Jumps on Car After Crash
Mystery Pooper Terrorizes Lawns
Woman Bites off Man’s Testicle

Words of Wisdom:
I don’t believe that you have to be a cow to know what milk is. -Ann Landers

Episode 406 – Chickpea Pantaloons

There are some days where I would be perfectly happy to sit and listen to music all day.  Just to absorb the tunes and let them wash over me in amazing, techno glory.  Today is one of those days.  Do you guys have music that you listen to on days like these?  I just found a band called Solar Fake and I’ve had them on repeat.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
The tension of the 230-odd strings in a grand piano exert a combined force of 20 tonnes on the cast iron frame.

Oklahoma Pastor Busted Running White Supremacist Prostitution Ring
SUC Army is back!
Navy Jet Draws Weener in Sky
Woman Parks in Chief’s Spot to Smoke Pot
Pfizer denies fumes from Viagra factory are arousing town’s males

Words of Wisdom:
Without music, life would be a mistake. -Friedrich Nietzsche

Episode 405 – Screeching Doors

I have learned how to make vegan banana bread!  Kind of.  I think I put too much applesauce in it last time… because it was REALLY moist.  I know some of you hate that word, but it is the perfect word for what my banana bread was… overly moist.  It wasn’t soggy, it wasn’t wet…. it was moist squared.  Anyway, I just made my second batch and put less applesauce and more hippy flour in it (no crickets), and I’ve been eating the batter.  Seriously, mashed bananas with sugar and hippy flour?  My Lord.  I would eat the entire damn bowl all by myself and never look back.  It’s amazing.  My mouth is now watering.  BRB.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Tomatoes are the state vegetable of New Jersey.

Indian surgeons remove 263 coins, 100 nails from man’s stomach
Man tries to pay ticket with pennies, gets choked by guard and defecates self
Malaysian university confusingly organizes ‘Pedophile Charity Run’ over the weekend
Mum who charges her family £30 each for Christmas dinner sparks outrage

Words of Wisdom:
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad. -Brian O’Driscoll