Episode 529 – Ride the Split

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Factoid of the Week:
Today, sunglasses serve as protective eyewear, effectively preventing bright sunlight from causing discomfort or damage to our eyes. Of course, they’re also a fashion accessory. But sunglasses were originally made out of smoky quartz in 12th century China, where they were used by judges to mask their emotions when they were questioning witnesses.

300 packets of washed up cocaine send ‘fortune hunters’ to Dutch beach
Danbury, Connecticut, To Rename Sewage Plant For John Oliver
Brazilian Senator Caught Hiding Cash Between His Butt Cheeks
South Carolina law school dean accidentally reveals who failed bar exam

Words of Wisdom:
“Boldness is a mask for fear, however great.” -John Dryden

Episode 528 – Wine and PJs

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Factoid of the Week:
Since the 1890s, pencils were painted yellow. American pencil makers wanted to tell people that the pencils they manufacture contain Chinese graphite. In China, yellow is associated with respect and royalty. Manufacturers painted pencils bright yellow in order to communicate this regal feeling and association with China.

Irish court: Subway’s sandwich bread is not legally bread
Florida Woman Out Of Luck When Winning Lottery Ticket Gets Lost In Mail
A woman in Australia discovered her headaches were caused by tapeworm larvae in her brain
Oklahoma jail workers charged after forcing inmates to listen to ‘Baby Shark’ on loop

Words of Wisdom:
“When we see a soul whose acts are all regal, graceful, and pleasant as roses, we must thank God that such things can be and are.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Episode 527 – Anthropomorphic Turd

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Factoid of the Week:
Someone who weighs 150 pounds on Earth would — if it were possible to stand on Jupiter — weigh a whopping 354 pounds on the enormous gas giant. Larger masses have greater gravity.

Bus passenger uses live snake as a face mask
Chicago’s Dreadhead Cowboy rides horse on Dan Ryan Expressway, faces 3 charges from ISP
Florida Woman steals sex toy, gets nude in store, tries it out
Cocaine in exchange for milking cows

Words of Wisdom:
To practice five things under all circumstances constitutes perfect virtue; these five are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness.” – Confucius

Episode 526 – Okey Dokey Funeral Home

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Factoid of the Week:
In antiquity, butter was used for fuel in lamps as a substitute for oil. The Butter Tower of Rouen Cathedral was erected in the early 16th century when Archbishop Georges d’Amboise authorized the burning of butter instead of oil, which was scarce at the time, during Lent.

Swiss Town Coated In Cocoa Powder After Factory Glitch
Florida condo for sale has Budweiser cans covering walls, ceilings
Man who founded Jelly Belly name to give away candy factory as part of ‘gold ticket’ treasure hunt
Ole Miss Put Porn Star on Its Cups Honoring Healthcare Heroes for This Season
Virginia man gets permission to be buried in Juicy Fruit-themed casket

Words of Wisdom:
“Life is too short for fake butter or fake people.” -Julia Child

Episode 524 – Cavalcade of Robots

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Factoid of the Week:
Mickey Mouse was originally named Mortimer Mouse, but Disney’s wife said the name Mortimer sounded too pompous, convincing Disney to change the adorable rodent’s name to Mickey. The name Mortimer was instead given to Mickey’s rival mouse in later episodes

JAPAN UNVEILS TRANSPARENT PUBLIC RESTROOMS
750 million genetically engineered mosquitoes approved for release in Florida Keys
Woman catches Amazon driver mid-squat pooing in her garden
You can now hire a ‘home exorcist’ to help cleanse and sell your haunted home

Words of Wisdom:
“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”
-Walt Disney

Episode 523 – Cultivating Nudes

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

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Factoid of the Week:
Your tongue is made up of eight interwoven muscles, similar in structure to an elephant’s trunk or an octopus’s tentacle.

Germans must walk their dogs twice a day, new law will say
An Arkansas farmer disguised himself as a woman to sneak into a cemetery and deface the grave of his longtime nemesis with animal carcasses
Two German soccer teams played a game completely naked
Study confirms that painting eyes on cow butts helps ward off predators

Words of Wisdom:
Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There’s plenty of movement, but you never know if it’s going to be forward, backwards, or sideways.H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Episode 522 – Flick the Peanut

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Factoid of the Week:
Astronaut Alan Shepard brought a peanut with him to the moon.  The commander of Apollo 14 was dining at a Santa Monica restaurant (Chez Jay’s) when the owner persuaded him to take one of the restaurant’s trademark peanuts with him to the moon in 1971.  When Shepard returned the legume, he reportedly signed an affidavit that stated it had accompanied him to the moon.

Chinese man’s big belly saves him from falling down well
Woman Renews License Online. It Comes Back With Picture Of Empty Chair
Beer company accidentally names ale Maori word for ‘pubic hair’
Butt-naked man caught chasing wild boar that stole his laptop

Words of Wisdom:
Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.
Buddha

Episode 521 – Demon Seaman

This show was on fire! So much yelling, so much rants, but all in good fun. You’ll have a good time because we had a good time. I love doing this show every week. It gives me something to look forward to and is just an awesome thing. By the way, speaking of awesome things, you should totally go check out the pre-order page for Horizons: An Anthology of Epic Journeys. It’s another anthology from your good friends at The Legion of Dorks! Half the proceeds go to charity!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Babies learn a lot of behaviors and sounds from watching the people around them, but scientists believe that all babies are born with the ability to smile, since even blind babies smile.

People in the US have reported receiving packages marked as jewelry that actually contain mysterious seeds from China
Blood-soaked Florida man clings to truck for 9 miles, bashes windshield in crazy video
Man Proposes To Girlfriend With Hundreds Of Candles, Burns Down Their Home
Failed building demolition creates the ‘leaning tower of Dallas’

Words of Wisdom:
We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.
-Mother Teresa

Episode 520 – Diddle U Quickly

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Factoid of the Week:
The human body contains enough potential energy that if it were to all be released at once it would be the equivalent force of 30 hydrogen bombs

Couple win fight to name son Lucifer after registrar warned he ‘won’t succeed in life’
1968 Ford Mustang sells for record-breaking $3.85 million
Police used drones to monitor nudity at a Minnesota beach
POOP PUMP

Episode 519 – Cocaine, Weiners, and Cannibals

We went long on this one you guys! Sometimes Horseshoes & Hand Grenades is like medicine. You have a long week or a tough day and H&H is right there to lift you out of the doldrums. We laughed and laughed, and the audience was rocking as usual. You should be at the live show sometime. It’s the greatest.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too! 

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
One honey bee has to fly about 90,000 miles – three times around the globe – and gather nectar from two million flowers to make one pound of honey.

$1.5 million dollar house offered as prize in $2.55 raffle
New York Man Fakes Death To Avoid Jail But Typo Gives Him Away
Man Steals Massive Dildo From Sex Shop And He’s Still At Large
Man’s bladder explodes after holding in pee for 18 hours after beer binge

Words of Wisdom:
“We ought to do good to others as simply as a horse runs, or a bee makes honey, or a vine bears grapes season after season without thinking of the grapes it has borne.” – Marcus Aurelius