PSA: Don’t buy a house. Build one. Buy a lot of land you love and build there… just back it up to a national forest so the government can’t put a highway through it. Seriously, graveyards don’t even stop them from gobbling up your land and slapping a road right through the middle. Also, all the houses here were drawn up by the same very boring white man who drank exactly one cup of black coffveve every morning along side his dark-wheat toast with no jam. Kill. Me.
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Factoid of the Week:
The man who pioneered the use of semen as invisible ink was named Sir George Mansfield Smith-Cumming, because fate exists. He was the first director of the British Secret Service (also known as MI6, the organization that employs James Bond) and a marvelously eccentric man known to prank the people around him by stabbing his artificial leg. BSS agents were so amused by his latest oddball obsession that they adopted the motto “Every man his own stylo.” Fortunately for all concerned, the idea was eventually shelved. While the semen might have been invisible, it did give off an odor, defeating the purpose.
Swiss village bans tourists from taking photos because it’s “too beautiful”
Thieves using blowtorch to steal from ATM accidentally set cash on fire
SPECIAL: The Most Commonly Misspelled Word In Wisconsin Is…
Indian judge claims peacocks reproduce from tears and that cow urine prevents aging
Daughter ‘had sex with her FATHER because she hoped it would make him change his mind about marrying his fiancée’
Words of Wisdom:
The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns, as it were, instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish squirting out ink. -George Orwell
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I’ve spent the last few days house hunting… and I now wish to dig a large hole into the ground, fill it with books, and never reemerge. Seriously, guys, it is awful. House photography should be considered witchcraft and treated as a most serious crime against humanity. Those magicians can weave lies through their photography that no mortal could see through. One could have a gaping maw in their floorboards, and the evil photographer could turn it into a bloody pool.
I nabbed a FitBit the other day and have been in a workweek competition with a group of ladies… and I’m convinced one of them is cheating. I found a way to get steps while not actually walking (jostle the FitBit while it is around your wrist), and I can only assume the woman is doing that. Or she has tied it to a ferret and given the ferret speed. The woman normally averages 6K steps a day… and has somehow changed her daily habits to accommodate over 15K the last several days while working a full day. I am not bitter… you are.
Guys, it has been TEN FLIPPING YEARS since Stephen and I started this journey! TEN! That is a DECADE. And this is from someone who cannot math… I am SO happy that Stephen asked me to do this with him so long ago. We have made so many fun memories and so many WONDERFUL friends. You guys give us life. You make these episodes worth listening to and we could not love you more <3 Thank you for being a part of a decade worth of odd and crazy news!
There are two types of people on this earth… the type that turn the eye of the stove on high while cutting up their veggies, and the type that cut up their veggies before burning the oil in their pan. I am the former. I have yet to meet a bulb of garlic that I have not burned while cutting up the rest of dinner. I am a winner. That rhymed.
Today is Sam’s 2nd birthday, so this episode of inappropriateness is brought to you by his parents successfully having sex 2 years and 9 months ago! Yay! Always wear a condom… unless you also want a child that gets sand in his shoes. I want orange juice. Squirrel.
Today’s episode is a bit heavier than our typical poo-laden chat-fests, but we had loads of fun getting a bit deeper with you guys… and then talking about a mailman that had an affair with a door mail slot… We gotta have balance, you know? 😀
I’ve been watching this anime called The Seven Deadly Sins, and it is awesome! I haven’t watched much anime in the last little bit and I did not realize how much I missed it! Stephen thinks it is a ball of hairy turd balls, but I love it so hard ^_^ What’s your favorite anime? Or do you side with Stephen on this one? Comment below!