Introducing the latest in mail carrier defense weaponry; The Water pistol. At least that is what the brave group of mail bringers in Madison Wisconsin are having to resort to. Apparently postal workers serving a neighborhood near Owen Conservation Park are being attacked daily by a pack of wild turkeys. Everyone has seen the movies about dogs chasing the mailman, but who would have thought turkeys would be the new super villains? These turkeys are still at large and have been accused of pecking their postal victims, as well as stabbing with spurs on their heels. One turkey actually climbed in the open door of one of the mail trucks and assaulted the driver, leaving the driver with scratch wounds.
Eric Lobner, Regional Wildlife Program Supervisor for the State Department of Natural Resources, linked the turkey’s behavior to the ongoing breeding season.
Color plays an important role in turkey breeding, he said, with the color of the male’s head during mating season changes from gaudy blue to white to red. Lobner speculated that perhaps the turkeys are attracted to the red, white and blue postal trucks.
Postal workers were armed with water pistols to repel the ravage beasts, but the turkeys have become accustomed to the blast of water. Now ‘bearers of bills and letters’ are carrying sticks to beat off the savage birds. Did I say beat off the savage birds? You know what I meant. Neighbors feeding the birds, has caused them to become less timid towards humans. This is but another cause to their annoying presence and violent tendencies. It’s kind of like the people that feed the baby alligators in the local lake and then start complaining when all their house pets keep disappearing. Moral of the story you ask? Eat more turkey!!