I am tired, my back still hurts, I WANT TO GO HOME and be able to do the show with Stephen…. After driving 4 hours tomorrow, I will be able to do a show for a few days, and then have to come back to WV again…. because I was a bad child and am suffering now. Stephen and Jacob talk about science, poop, lottery money, and my dad wont stop eating ice cream.
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Factoid of the Week:
A good gauge of a male lion’s age is the darkness of his mane. The darker the mane, the older the lion.
Shopkeeper tells armed robbers to come back later – and they do
Blowtorch used to kill spiders may have started house fire in US
Naked woman tries to bite off man’s penis during threesome
Judge chases prisoners, nabs one during attempted escape
Words of Wisdom:
It is better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life. -Elizabeth Kenny
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I need drugs or alcohol but whatever the version of those are that aren’t bad for you
It looks like my parents have sold my father’s optometric office… and I am dead happy! And also freaking the crap out. Do you have any idea how much stuff a family can store in 4000 square feet of office? A lot. They can store a lot. We now have three weekends in which to move, toss, donate, or otherwise destroy upwards of 80 years worth of collected junk. My father thought it would be cool to keep all of my grandfather’s stuff o_O Gah. We so dead.
I don’t know if I like the new Tomb Raider game, guys. It is gorgeous. There is no taking away from that; however, it babies the crap out of you through the tombs. My favorite part of the TR games are the actual exploration and puzzles in the tombs. I feel like the series went from raiding to Nathan Drake with a female protagonist. They spoon-feed you the puzzles (even on max difficulty), there is a HUGE emphasis on stealth (which, I DO like better than run and guns, because it feels like a puzzle), and there is a large chunk of an RPG-esque-like city randomly thrown in. It’s like they weren’t sure which direction to go in. I like exploring cities, but it feels muddled and clunky.
An ode to a Lava Lamp
My daddy makes SO much food when he cooks. I’m talking food for seven people for DAYS. Combine that with my mother doing the same thing… and it looks like a thirty person picnic every time we go over to their house to eat. Also, I ate too much and I am about to die. Why am I like this. Also, also, I chased my nephew around the house for thirty minutes after eating to much so I am extra going to puke and die. Someone save me from myself. Halp.
Women are expected to change their last names after a marriage, but I think if more men had to go through all the lame steps that a woman must go through in order to change her name… they would be on board with women just keeping their given names. Please have 56 forms of ID, that require 56 other visits to other places, please wait in line for 5 hours, then please wait 4 weeks, then please change your Driver’s License, and your credit cards, and your bank account, and every other thing that your name has ever been on ever… including your email address and all those gorgeous address label stickers you ordered a while ago. -__-
When we were children, my sister used to eat butter… and I thought it was the weirdest thing a person could do. I now realize I just did not appreciate butter as a child. I was prepping some corn to go on the grill (grilled corn requires butter), and ended up licking the butter off my fingers before washing them in the sink. I found myself wanting to shove the container of salted, creamed, cow’s milk into my face. Are butter sandwiches a thing?
I am fairly convinced a colony of gnomes live in my refrigerator. Ping, bangs, knocks, and clinks are so often emanating from the fridge, that I — at one point — thought something was trapped inside. It’s been a year since we moved in, and the constant construction noises still bother me. What is happening inside there? Are the foods alive and partying? Is ice that loud? Are there polar bears in the ice?