Horseshoes & Hand Grenades

Flaming Anus is apparently a band… A really freaking good band… I am torn between being upset that they took our awful fake band name and really wanting them to come on the show.  Someone make them come on our show!  They have a MySpace page…

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Factoid of the Week:
Winter lasts for 21 years on Uranus

Botched proposal Evacuates Building
Burnt Bacon Bits
Get Flushed!

Words of Wisdom:
Nothing exists except atoms and empty space; everything else is opinion. -Democritus

I’m going to tap my niche… I don’t thing that means whoring myself out, but I’m not entirely sure.  I HATE MY JOB!  Join Stephen and I as we discuss how much my freaking job sucks and how I need a new one before I drive off a cliff on purpose! 

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

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Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
You are more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark.

Words of Wisdom:
“Life is a journey and if you fall in love with the journey you will be in love forever.” —Peter Hagerty

Pokemon and marriage and breakfast! 

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Starch is used as a binder in the production of paper. It is the use of a starch coating that controls ink penetration when printing. Cheaper papers do not use as much starch, and this is why your elbows get black when you are leaning over your morning paper.

Roller Coaster House
Where does sausage come from?
ur Farts Smell of Roses

Words of Wisdom:
I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition. – Martha Washington

Why Google, WHYYYYYY?  Why for you do underlining and junk when I don’t want the underlining? I make bad coffee.  

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

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Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

Irish ppl Fight Over Frozen Doll (they weren’t even drunk)
Naked Man Falls Through Ceiling and Attacks Man
Dog Search for Fatbergs
Lego Stripper

Words of Wisdom:
Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality. – Nikos Kazantzakis

I’m very sleepy.  We paused the show to make coffee.  Well, sugar milk with coffee flavor… I seriously cannot stop yawning and I have a 45 min drive home and I NEED COFFEE!  WHY IS IT NOT READY YET?!@#  WHYYYYYYYYYYY!  

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second!

Polish Woman Wakes From Dead with Cold
Dude Tries to Shove Chainsaw Down His Pants
Family Lost in Corn MaZe

Words of Wisdom:
For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone. – Audrey Hepburn

I wrote possibly the greatest sentence known to man… and squarespace deleted my WHOLE FREAKING DRAFT.  So, you get nothing.  And you will like it.  

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
The longest musical performance in history is currently taking place in the church of St. Burchardi in Halberstadt, Germany. The performance of John Cage’s “Organ²/ASLSP (As Slow As Possible)” started on Sept. 5, 2001, and is set to finish in 2640. The last time the note changed was October 2013; the next change isn’t due until 2020.

Naked Man Masterbates in Garden
This is annoying
Kid Missing a Week Found in IKEA
 

Words of Wisdom:
The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself.  – Lao Tzu

So, this show addresses a VERY important and relevant question: Can Zombies Climb?  No, in fact they cannot… but you complete asshats decided (for whatever the hell completely illogical reason) that they could.  YOU’RE WRONG.  So.  Very.  Wrong.  I mean, I guess we did notes or something… but, for the most part… I cried about how you BETRAYED me with your amazingly stupid lack of reasoning.  I HATE YOU ALL.  Jerks.  

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow

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Factoid of the Week:
Every day 20 banks are robbed. The average take is $2,500!

Tigger Caught Having Sex In Bathroom Stall
Man Runs Himself Over
Choco Milk UNder Guard  

Words of Wisdom:
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. – Albert Einstein

Is anyone going to do NanoWriMo with Stephen this month? I’m thinking about doing it… but the commitment to the amount of words and time is scary and I don’t wanna.  Ok, I just publicly committed to doing it.  Dear Lord, help me; this is a bad decision… Do I have time to write?  YES… and so do you!  If you are going to NanoWriMo, hook up with with Stephen and I and lets make awesome books and become millionaires!  And retire to Belize.  And eat mangos.  

Factoid of the Week:
While Shakespeare is attributed as the author to the often wrongly quoted phrase “all that glistens is not gold” it was, in fact, first said in the 12th century by philosopher Alain de L’Isle who said: “Do not hold everything that shines like gold.”

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

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Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Woman Squirts Breast Milk
Rectum? Darn Near Killed’em!
Tiger Porn!
Don’t Throw Out the Meatballs!

Words of Wisdom:
Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. – Mother Teresa

It’s all about the space, ’bout the space, no tribbles.  WHY does that song get stuck in my head and WHY does it work with almost anything?  Listen to this week’s show for a HUGE announcement that pretty much makes my year.  Maybe the next few years.  I now have to go get ready for bed and clean my room and switch my sheets and I DON’T WANNA.  I want candy and a nap and to not have to work at my job anymore.  Stay tuned for butt plugs! 

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

Zombie-Proof Cabin
Male Patient Awakens to Pink Panties
Giant Parisian Butt Plug Deflated
Stalker Thinks She is Santa

Words of Wisdom
For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, ‘It might have been’.  – John Greenleaf Whittier

So, this week is brought to you by Dwarfism.  And strippers.  And Dwarf Strippers.  We have a new setup!  I like it better because I have my own desk now… let us know what you think about it!  Also, I might quit the show to begin my career in twerking like the lady in the show notes… seriously…. it’s mesmerizing.  I want my butt to move like that.  Oh, and zombie santa… everyone loves zombie santa.   

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
A giraffe can go without water longer than a camel.

Waitress Hands Dwarf a Coloring Book 
PreK Teacher Quits to Twerk
Woman Impregnated by Dwarf Stripper (At Her Bachelorette Party)
Zombie Santa Scares 16-year-old

Words of Wisdom:
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”  ― Dr. Seuss