Category: Uncategorized

Is anyone going to do NanoWriMo with Stephen this month? I’m thinking about doing it… but the commitment to the amount of words and time is scary and I don’t wanna.  Ok, I just publicly committed to doing it.  Dear Lord, help me; this is a bad decision… Do I have time to write?  YES… and so do you!  If you are going to NanoWriMo, hook up with with Stephen and I and lets make awesome books and become millionaires!  And retire to Belize.  And eat mangos.  

Factoid of the Week:
While Shakespeare is attributed as the author to the often wrongly quoted phrase “all that glistens is not gold” it was, in fact, first said in the 12th century by philosopher Alain de L’Isle who said: “Do not hold everything that shines like gold.”

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If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

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Woman Squirts Breast Milk
Rectum? Darn Near Killed’em!
Tiger Porn!
Don’t Throw Out the Meatballs!

Words of Wisdom:
Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. – Mother Teresa

It’s all about the space, ’bout the space, no tribbles.  WHY does that song get stuck in my head and WHY does it work with almost anything?  Listen to this week’s show for a HUGE announcement that pretty much makes my year.  Maybe the next few years.  I now have to go get ready for bed and clean my room and switch my sheets and I DON’T WANNA.  I want candy and a nap and to not have to work at my job anymore.  Stay tuned for butt plugs! 

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

Zombie-Proof Cabin
Male Patient Awakens to Pink Panties
Giant Parisian Butt Plug Deflated
Stalker Thinks She is Santa

Words of Wisdom
For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, ‘It might have been’.  – John Greenleaf Whittier

So, this week is brought to you by Dwarfism.  And strippers.  And Dwarf Strippers.  We have a new setup!  I like it better because I have my own desk now… let us know what you think about it!  Also, I might quit the show to begin my career in twerking like the lady in the show notes… seriously…. it’s mesmerizing.  I want my butt to move like that.  Oh, and zombie santa… everyone loves zombie santa.   

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
A giraffe can go without water longer than a camel.

Waitress Hands Dwarf a Coloring Book 
PreK Teacher Quits to Twerk
Woman Impregnated by Dwarf Stripper (At Her Bachelorette Party)
Zombie Santa Scares 16-year-old

Words of Wisdom:
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”  ― Dr. Seuss

 

Tonight’s episode of H&H was absolutely off the wall. By that I mean that we had absolutely no notes to go by, and actually loved every minute of it. There were mad libs, weird stories, frank conversations, and more! Enjoy!

Our show is listener supported! If you want to help us out, subscribe to our Patreon for extra content and other goodies! Details: http://www.patreon.com/hnhshow

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!
iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Condom Pants
Weiner in a can

I think fast food joints should sell sex toys with their burgers. Burger fi has the best veggie burgers on the freaking planet.  If they would have given me some sex tape or a fluffy handcuff with that sucker, I’d have moved in there.  Also, french fries.  All the fries.  I wanna dye my hair again.  I hate being an adult.  I want fun hair and no bills and to be back in school and I want to SLEEP.  I miss sleep!  Also, we did a show.  We were VERY tired… so it’s weird.  I think we talked.  We may have just slept on the air.  CuZ.  Yeah.  I miss you guys.  You guys are cool.  Send me videos!  

Factoid of the Week:
The eggplant, also known as the aubergine in Europe, was named by the English because early specimens were all white and looked like hen’s eggs.

NoodleZ and LSD
Hamster Air
The Scarf Piddler
Burger with a side of Nipple Clamps

Words of Wisdom:
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. – Jimi Hendrix

I am so tired right now I don’t even know if I’m awake or dreaming this… I think we talked to some fairly cool dudes (Nick Nitro and Eryck Webb) about their project Ultimate Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… That was seriously amazing.  Nitro busted out a Billy West impression that knocked me for a loop… and talking to Eryck when he wasn’t drunk (we attended to same party school) was really awesome.  He didn’t throw up once!.  There was trivia and penises and boobs (no, really, three boobs even)… Ok, I have to go pay bills meow… because real life blows.  

Factoid of the Week:
A factoid is an insignificant or trivial fact.

Is 3rd Boob 4 ReaZ?

Pensies Are Fun

Words of Wisdom:
It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see. 
– Henry David Thoreau

Sometimes, yes means no, ya know?  And when you know that no means yes, it’s easier to say yes to those things you really want to say no to, you know what I mean?  No?  So, yes, you understand.  That’s great.  Now we can get on with the show.  That I am running late for.  Because this is what I do.  This week we have smartphone lanes on the sidewalk (so idiots can walk into idiots and not walk into normal ppl that can multitask), footy players take a wee in a water bottle belonging to a ref, something about a deal body that isn’t right, and a failure that attempts to rob a house but cant be bothered so takes a nap… 

Factoid of the Week:
LASER is an acronym, which stands for: Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation

Smartphone Lane
Pee Bottle
That’s the Wrong Dead Body!
Burglar Falls Asleep on the Job

Words of Wisdom:
Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh. – Charlie Sheen

Well, we survived DragonCon 2014… barely.  There were so many people there I could have easily walked across the hotel by stepping on head’s.  Granted, some of the heads were spiky and robotic.  We shook hands with actors, danced with George Lowe, made fun of awful skits, laughed with Cary Elwes, played at the Dark Moon Faire, ordered 500$ a pound room service, joked with strangers, walked about 60 miles a day and didn’t nearly get enough sleep.  Tonight’s show is a recap of all the awesome with a few stories about burnt bacon, backstreet boy sized testicles and naked cabbies (there were so many naked people in Atlanta…).  Special shout our to Mike, Scott, Rebecca, and Jason!  

Factoid of the Week:
A group of cats is called a clowder.

Frustrated Cabbie Gets Naked
Miss Crispie Burns the Bacon
133lb Testicle 

Words of Wisdom:
“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”  ― Robert A. Heinlein

It’s the last show before Dragon*Con and we’re so pumped!! WOO! Tonight on the show we talked about expensive feet, gun toting americans who kill dinosaurs, what’s wrong with pageants and tapeworms, and how Google streetview is hazardous to woodland creatures.

Factoid of the Week:
A group of owls is called a parliament.

World’s Most Expensive Manicure
Teen Kills Pet Dinosaur
Mother Gives Daughter Tapeworms 
Google Kills Puppy!

Words of Wisdom:
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. – Carl Jung

It’s another call-in episode! So, I honestly have no clue what we talked about for the first 50 mins of the show.  Vash called in and asked what we had been doing… and we weren’t really sure.  BUT, we did talk about lonely geese that old ladies call 911 over… and the fact that YOLO is now in the dictionary (ugh… I wanna punch a baby over this one), and a genius that asks Siri where to hid the body of his murdered roommate.  That was not smart of him.  He did it wrong.  And you’ll be doing it wrong if you don’t listen to the episode this week! 

Factoid of the Week:
The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

Woman Calls 911 over Lonely Goose
YOLO Added to Dictionary (kill me now)
Man Asks Siri to Coverup Murder

Words of Wisdom:
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.
-Arnold Schwarzenegger