Horseshoes & Hand Grenades

Tonight’s episode of H&H was absolutely off the wall. By that I mean that we had absolutely no notes to go by, and actually loved every minute of it. There were mad libs, weird stories, frank conversations, and more! Enjoy!

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Condom Pants
Weiner in a can

I think fast food joints should sell sex toys with their burgers. Burger fi has the best veggie burgers on the freaking planet.  If they would have given me some sex tape or a fluffy handcuff with that sucker, I’d have moved in there.  Also, french fries.  All the fries.  I wanna dye my hair again.  I hate being an adult.  I want fun hair and no bills and to be back in school and I want to SLEEP.  I miss sleep!  Also, we did a show.  We were VERY tired… so it’s weird.  I think we talked.  We may have just slept on the air.  CuZ.  Yeah.  I miss you guys.  You guys are cool.  Send me videos!  

Factoid of the Week:
The eggplant, also known as the aubergine in Europe, was named by the English because early specimens were all white and looked like hen’s eggs.

NoodleZ and LSD
Hamster Air
The Scarf Piddler
Burger with a side of Nipple Clamps

Words of Wisdom:
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. – Jimi Hendrix

I am so tired right now I don’t even know if I’m awake or dreaming this… I think we talked to some fairly cool dudes (Nick Nitro and Eryck Webb) about their project Ultimate Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… That was seriously amazing.  Nitro busted out a Billy West impression that knocked me for a loop… and talking to Eryck when he wasn’t drunk (we attended to same party school) was really awesome.  He didn’t throw up once!.  There was trivia and penises and boobs (no, really, three boobs even)… Ok, I have to go pay bills meow… because real life blows.  

Factoid of the Week:
A factoid is an insignificant or trivial fact.

Is 3rd Boob 4 ReaZ?

Pensies Are Fun

Words of Wisdom:
It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see. 
– Henry David Thoreau

Sometimes, yes means no, ya know?  And when you know that no means yes, it’s easier to say yes to those things you really want to say no to, you know what I mean?  No?  So, yes, you understand.  That’s great.  Now we can get on with the show.  That I am running late for.  Because this is what I do.  This week we have smartphone lanes on the sidewalk (so idiots can walk into idiots and not walk into normal ppl that can multitask), footy players take a wee in a water bottle belonging to a ref, something about a deal body that isn’t right, and a failure that attempts to rob a house but cant be bothered so takes a nap… 

Factoid of the Week:
LASER is an acronym, which stands for: Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation

Smartphone Lane
Pee Bottle
That’s the Wrong Dead Body!
Burglar Falls Asleep on the Job

Words of Wisdom:
Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh. – Charlie Sheen

Well, we survived DragonCon 2014… barely.  There were so many people there I could have easily walked across the hotel by stepping on head’s.  Granted, some of the heads were spiky and robotic.  We shook hands with actors, danced with George Lowe, made fun of awful skits, laughed with Cary Elwes, played at the Dark Moon Faire, ordered 500$ a pound room service, joked with strangers, walked about 60 miles a day and didn’t nearly get enough sleep.  Tonight’s show is a recap of all the awesome with a few stories about burnt bacon, backstreet boy sized testicles and naked cabbies (there were so many naked people in Atlanta…).  Special shout our to Mike, Scott, Rebecca, and Jason!  

Factoid of the Week:
A group of cats is called a clowder.

Frustrated Cabbie Gets Naked
Miss Crispie Burns the Bacon
133lb Testicle 

Words of Wisdom:
“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”  ― Robert A. Heinlein

It’s the last show before Dragon*Con and we’re so pumped!! WOO! Tonight on the show we talked about expensive feet, gun toting americans who kill dinosaurs, what’s wrong with pageants and tapeworms, and how Google streetview is hazardous to woodland creatures.

Factoid of the Week:
A group of owls is called a parliament.

World’s Most Expensive Manicure
Teen Kills Pet Dinosaur
Mother Gives Daughter Tapeworms 
Google Kills Puppy!

Words of Wisdom:
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. – Carl Jung

It’s another call-in episode! So, I honestly have no clue what we talked about for the first 50 mins of the show.  Vash called in and asked what we had been doing… and we weren’t really sure.  BUT, we did talk about lonely geese that old ladies call 911 over… and the fact that YOLO is now in the dictionary (ugh… I wanna punch a baby over this one), and a genius that asks Siri where to hid the body of his murdered roommate.  That was not smart of him.  He did it wrong.  And you’ll be doing it wrong if you don’t listen to the episode this week! 

Factoid of the Week:
The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

Woman Calls 911 over Lonely Goose
YOLO Added to Dictionary (kill me now)
Man Asks Siri to Coverup Murder

Words of Wisdom:
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.
-Arnold Schwarzenegger

This week on Awesome and Awesome, we talk about… Hell, I forget.  Ummmm, something about Stephen being a bad person, our sadness over Robin Williams deciding to peace out, Asian people not being able to drive, running penises, mountain lions being sold at pet shops and a loving mother who set her son on fire for some FB fame.  Seriously, people.  

Factoid of the Week:
You’re more likely to die on your way to buy a lottery ticket than you are to actually win the lottery. 

Asians Can’t Drive
Runner Draws Peniseseses
Mother Sets Her Son on Fire – for FB
Mountain Lion Escapes Pet Store

Words of Wisdom:
Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting. –Joyce Meyer

Grimm is awesome.  Have you guys been watching that show?  I just started season one.  It is good.  Watch it.  Stephen doesn’t watch it because he has actual hobbies like playing the guitar.  I need a life.  On this week’s show, we talk about (your mom) a cookie monster that attempts to strangle a woman for eating cookies for breakfast (he’s very dedicated to nutrition), a man smokes the ashes of a dead woman (as opposed to the ashes of a living woman) thinking it was a box of drugs,  a woman breaks into a zoo after closing and decides to take a swim, and a taxi driver dresses like a hooker in order to fleece drunk passengers.  What the crap, people?

Factoid of the Week:
There are only 14 blimps in the world, and 10 of them are in the U.S.

Woman Sneaks Into Zoo to Swim
Cookie Monster Attacks Woman
Burglar Smokes Ashes on Accident
Taxi Driver Cross Dresses To Steal from Passengers

Words of Wisdom:

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

This week on HnH, we discuss the naked woman that leapt out of a car in Russia, 3 very naked fast food burger burglars, a man that grabbed something from his bum and stuffed it into his mouth (it isn’t what you think) and Chinese Crab Walkers (I imagine this is a step up from cabbage walking). 

Factoid of the week:
In 1935, Australia, fisherman captured a 3.5 meter tiger shark, it vomited up another smaller shark which vomited up a human arm; the arm was used to solve a murder.

Naked Jack-In-The-Box
3 Naked Burglars
Butt-Smuggling-Fart-Puncher
Crab Walkers Needed

Words of Wisdom:
A lie travels round the world while truth is putting her boots on. – French Proverb