Episode 54 – “Now With 30% Less Trans Fat!”

Tonight’s episode was captured by a defiant group of squirrels who refuse to understand that they have been beaten! I had to journey into the deepest and darkest of squirrel outposts and wrestle this episode away from one of the nasty little buggers before it became their giant squirrel dinner. That’s right folks, they tried to eat it! It’s a good thing I was there to make sure this show came out safe and sound. I barely escaped, but I shall wear my wounds with pride. Tonight’s episode is covered in chocolate and presented to you like a nobel prize…whatever that means. Enjoy!
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Episode 53 – “Naked Belongs in the Bathroom”

Well, we have successfully completed another abs-fab episode of the eventually famous podcast Horseshoes and Hand Grenades! We had a pirate join us for tea at some point, and I think the Mad Hatter made an appearance. I don’t really recall either way, as I was drugged by an alien overlord before we started the show. Good news for you, the evil sloths at H & H managed to find how to become a woman in 20 minutes, how third graders planned to attack their teacher, and how a 31 year old woman planned on kidnapping her 17 year old WoW lover.
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Episode 52 – “I’m Feeling Fat and Sassy!”

limecatHappy Birthday to US! We are officially a year old today (March 28th 2008), and we have learned to say “no”. We also have been locked out of the kitchen cabinets, because we keep banging the pots around late at night when mommy wants her alone time with the postman… Go have a cupcake in our honor and chow down on its sugary, heart-stopping, internal organ melting icing, and enjoy Radioactive Kitteh (comic anyone?), Testicle Removal (by a church deacon!), and a Man (who was a woman) that is 5 Months Preggers!
*Blows out the candles and waits for the strippers*
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Episode 51 – “”You are NOT in my pee circle!”

Through the great happenstance of fate, Stephen and I are in the same state! Oh, joy of joy’s, my dear heart doth sing to the heavens for it is lifted of its heavy burden of the lack of Stephen. But now, dearest listeners, we are joined in happy times run amok with rum balls and pillows and we bring you tales of the dumbest in the land for your immense listening pleasures. Women who fancy themselves men, hospitals doling out new bottoms, and the epic duel of two equally matched ham fisted gentlemen.
Factoid of the Week:
Adult Northwestern American Grizzly Bears can bite through steel as thick as one half inch

But, He Has Boobs!
Ever Been Ripped a New One?
I Pee in Your Box
Boobies Be Gone
Stripper kicks dude in face
Not To Be Read/Listened To With FOOD Near You
Super Hero Plays Hookie
Ham Fisted

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Running Time: 49:40

Episode 50 LIVE! – “Pimp Capacitator!”

Our 50th show has come and gone and, for lack of a better string of words, it was frakking glorious.  It’s almost been a year, and you guys have fluffed our egos to mammoth proportions.  (Is that a good thing?  Yeah, it really is.)  We had a brilliant turnout of people, who we bribed, to come listen to Stephen and I talk about Super Sheep, Hand Bags and Hand Grenades, The Woman Who Had a Toilet for an Arse, and More Kitty Survival!  A heartfelt thanks to: Scott, K-man, Brandon, Will, Sarn, Voodoo, Frankie U., Micah, and Lisa!
Factoid of the Week:
Each year, 30,000 people are seriously injured by exercise equipment 

Super Sheep!
Hand Bags and Hand Grenades?
More Kitty Survival!
Fencing Saves Lives!
Crying Robbers
Old Lady With a Bone To Pick
Talk about your having your butt glued to the seat O_o    <— Submitted by VoodooSnowFlakes
Woman Forgotten

Check out these fine sites from some of the friends who joined us!
Massassi Forums
To Be Named Later – Another Pi and CHiPS Show

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Running Time: 1:17:38   <— Longevity is due to the LIVE-ness 🙂

Episode 49 – “What Is A Pooh Anyway?”

Do you guys remember silly putty? I have two eggs (pink and green), and I’ve been playing with it for the last hour, and I can’t stop! I also drew gold vines all they way up my left arm; and then took the silly putty and pasted gold vines on the stretchy stuff. I am easily entertained. And, speaking of entertainment… if you would like some, then enjoy this episode! We proudly present: sleeping your way rich, nagging your husband limp, beating your way through anger management, and shitting your way to a better world.
This episode is dedicated to the memory of Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons and Dragons.

Factoid of the Week:
The Polish government awards informants with flowers and chocolates

Man’s Nagging Wife Leaves Him Limp
Why Didn’t I Think Of This?
101 Year Old Guy Runs Half-Marathon, Pauses For A Beer and Cigarette
Anger Management Works!
More Survivor Kitty
Missing Your Left Leg?
Cows Shyte Energy
I Would Have Just Quit…
This Sounds Like My Dad

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Running Time: 58:40

Episode 48 – “Explosive Flatulence Is An Epidemic”

Hey, look we are on time this week! Even though I am still sick, and Stephen is hyped up on caffeine after not having any for about a month… this is not a recommended way of ingesting caffeine. I just ate about seven hundred smarties, and I very happy. SMARTIES! Smarties liked our show this week too, about tortoises that set houses on fire, a pair of flaming pants, and a baby that was flushed down the toilet!
Factoid of the Week:
75 million toothpicks can be made from one cord of wood

Tortoise Sets House On Fire
Robber’s Crush
Fat Mew Falls on Customer
Edward Retard Hands <— Submitted by Frankie U.
Flaming Pants
Python Eats Pet… in front of childrenZ!
Baby Flushed… Off the Train!
Highway Menage a Trois   <—Submitted by Frankie U.
Steamy Pots

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Running Time: 57:31

Episode 47 – “Brown Chicken Brown Cow”

Ok, so, I have had the plague for the last week, and it has just about liquidated my insides ebola style. I have taken enough medication that I thought I was from a different dimension at one point; I have slept for entire days; I have eaten really well; and kept exorbitantly warm… and still I have the phage. I want to get better! On that note, I sound a bit like a whale in this episode (which is entertaining in and of itself). The content is also pretty amusing: a church with sexual commandments, a man who literally got nailed in the nuts, and a man who thinks all your tacos are belong to him.
Factoid of the Week:
Oysters can change gender according to the temperature of the water they live in

Personally, I’d rather be slapped with a ruler…
Crazy men in Japanese school girl uniforms. A new trend, or just another random idiot?
I Want To Attend This Church
I So Did Not Order That
As if our arteries could handle anymore…
Talk about getting nailed…
All Your Tacos Are Belong To Me
Man Drives Stolen Car to Police Station

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Running Time: 51:34

Episode 46 – “Two All Beef Patties, Special Sauce, Lettuce, Cheese”

Wow, this weekend has been conspiring against us! The SUC heads attacked, mini-bears looted our HQ, our mixer exploded, I forgot how to swallow water, and my parents were here (four people in a two bedroom apartment = lame). We finally managed to emerge the victors, however! Huzzah for perseverance. Today’s episode comes to you complete with ninja kitties, flying moose, and freshly baked rodents. Yum!
Factoid of the Week:
One cubic foot of gold weighs more than a half ton

Do-Gooder Accused of Do-Badding
Online Prostitution! Coming To A City Near you!
Who Let The Chickens Out?
Ninja Kitty Evades Firemen
Falling Rock…er, MOOSE!
Fresh Baked Rodent
The Phone Is Mightier Than The Tazer
Grandma Wields An Axe
Firefighter Arrested on DUI…While Driving The Fire Truck

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Running Time: 46:35