Category: Uncategorized

There is a squirrel watching me. No, seriously… it’s camping the seed on the deck and just STARING at me. I decided to try and get some sunlight today because I have not had any in about 6 months. Winter has been LAME this year. LAME. It has been hanging around like cigarette smoke under a carport. I think I made my white skin pink; perhaps that will turn into a tan at some point this summer. Speaking of squirrels… the factoid this week is interesting.
Factoid of the Week:
Male Cape ground squirrels have really big genitalia, relatively speaking. Their penises are 40 percent of the length of their body, while their testicles are about half that length. The lengthy penis is something they use to their utmost advantage during masturbation, and their technique has reached what many consider a holy grail: The squirrels bend over and stick their penis in their own mouth.

Master Splinter Attacks
Zombie Repellent Perfume
Man Saves Baby Porcupine
Drunk College Student

Words of Wisdom:
The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest.
Henry David Thoreau

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Running Time: 57:01

weeks show is brought to you by raisins! I actually want some now that I’ve dedicated the show to them. Alas, I have an hour of Zumba to dance around like a maniac to before I can eat lunch… I wish I was able to get exercise from playing WoW. Like, for every mile my character ran, I received the health benefits from it. That would be awesome. I would go on so many grinding quests! Experience AND muscles. Someone invent this right MEOW! Maybe we could strap electrodes to ourselves and stimulate the same muscles needed for swinging an axe. What would be stimulated if you were a caster, though? MIND BULLETS!
Factoid of the Week:
It takes more than 4 tons of grapes to produce 1 ton of raisins.

Shakespearean Revenge
Don’t Eat Raisins and Drive
Sperm Facial
Safest Way to Travel

Words of Wisdom:
What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up Like a raisin in the sun? Or does it explode?
Langston Hughes

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Running Time: 1:00:33

I just ate so much cabbage (hence the theme of the show today). I actually made soup out of it, but it kinda tastes a little bit like butthole today for some reason. It’s normally flavorful and delicious and a good way to keep me from snacking on key-lime pie (of which I’ve had TWO in the last couple weeks), but I kinda of want to lick a porcupine to ride the cabbage-ie taste from my mouth. It sort of tastes like the ocean my have peed in my cabbage. Yuck. Welcome to the 75th annual Call In Games! Once every ten episodes, HnH goes LIVE to Skype and allows the internet to call in and use our podcast as a venting ground for how amazing Titan Fall is!
Factoid of the Week:
Cabbage is one of the oldest vegetables, dating back to the 1600’s.

Missing Woman Searches for Herself
Psycho Feline Traps Family
In Search of Severed Penis
Scratch-and-Sniff Tour Book

Words of Wisdom:
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain

A cat for your enjoyment (NSFW)

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Running Time: 1:15:48

So, I think I actually thawed out from winter… today was WARM and I got to sit in a sun beam… not for very long, mind you. I was in direct sunlight for all of 5 mins before I turned a shade of pink that would be acceptable on Valentine’s Day. Us Albino’s need to avoid light, really. I think the flashback from my skin blinded a plane 😀
Factoid of the Week:
A group of tigers is known as an ‘ambush’ or ‘streak’.

Taxi Waits While Robber Holds Up Here
A Man Walks Into A Bar
Python Vs Croc (Not a Syfy Movie)
Firemen Are Not Waterboys

Words of Wisdom:
In waking a tiger, use a long stick.
Mao Zedong

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Running Time: 50:31

It is the month of GREEN! Well, the month that contains one day in which, if you do not wear green (and not just your underwear), then people whom you have never met have the right (and will exercise it) to walk up to you, pinch you for not complying with the unwritten “green rule” and walk away. This… is dangerous. Catch a woman in the wrong mood and you may be on the receiving end of a punch that makes your pinch feel a bit wimpy (and everyone with al older brother knows how much pinches can hurt…).
Factoid of the Week:
There are three main types of samurai sword. 1: Katana: The longest type of sword, over 24inches, generally used for outdoor combat. 2: Wakizashi: Around a third shorter than the Katana at between 12 and 24 inches, this was worn in indoor establishments by samurai for its obvious better maneuverability indoors. 3: Tanto: A small knife used in much the same manner as a Wakizashi.

/me slap
Master Sword Clubbing Mix (Submitted by Eryck Webb)
No Sex For YOU!
Forklifts and Twix

Words of Wisdom:
Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon. which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Running Time:

I am so DONE with being cold! It was (relatively) warm for a few days and then proceeds to become cold enough to snow… again. I don’t want to be cold anymore. It makes my toes turn blue and I can’t go outside and I’m already pale to begin with. My screen is currently a darker shade of white than I am! I think I am going to move to Belize, build a house (complete with solar panels and rain water collection devices) and plant a garden. I will be warm and have fruit. This would please me… so would going to Dragon Con! 6 months!
Factoid of the Week:
Despite their small size, rats have an incredibly large collective appetite. It’s estimated that rodents nibble away at one-fifth of global food supply every year, making them significant contributors to famine — not to mention accruing $19 billion in damaged goods.

China Opens Baby Hatches
Surprise Medication
Rat in Cake
Snore No Moar Pillow

Words of Wisdom:
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields

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Running Time: 44:12

So, it’s balls cold outside and I decided that 30 degrees and a 14 degree wind chill was an excellent day in which to take a couple mile walk. In my defense, it is absolutely gorgeous outside today. First cloudless day we have had in ages… it just happens to be a very nippy day, so I am not entirely sure that I received any vitamin D from sunlight touching my skin… because you couldn’t even tell I had skin I was so bundled up. Seriously, though… I’m kind of done with winter. If it could just piss off, that would be excellent.
Factoid of the Week:
Bananas are Radioactive! Potassium-40 is a radioactive isotope of potassium. Before you start burying your bananas in a lead-lined coffin though, you should probably be aware that you’d have to eat roughly 5,000,000 of the things to get anything near radiation sickness.

Monster Toys Banned
Florida Stunner
Woman Breastfeeds puppy
10-yr-old Smashes Through DMV

Words of Wisdom:
“Always take a banana to a party.” ― Steven Moffat

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Running Time: 55:12

Well, we’ve been AWOL for a week or too and it’s ALL STEPHEN’S FAULT! He had to go and be all adulty and buy a house and move in and be lame. On the up side… I think this means we might never have to move Steph and Stephen ever again?! Unless they have, like, 45 kids and decide they need more space. Please don’t do that. You guys have a lot of heavy crap. I’m just saying. There comes a point in life where you just suck it up and hire movers. I think this is the time. We should all be very old by the time you guys decide you want to move again.
Factoid of the Week:
A group of jellyfish is called a smack

Cow Farts Spark Explosion
Poop On Fire
Peace Doves Attacked
Bra Only Unhooks for True Love

Word of Wisdom:
A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.
Arnold H. Glasow

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Running Time: 1:14:33

Well, It’s a new year and I have started back on my healthy eating plan (I was a bit lax for 6 weeks :p). I started lightly working out again, using my Fitbit and counting calories. Stephen didn’t gain any weight over the holidays, but I put on three lbs… which doesn’t seem like much, but when the goal is to LOSE weight… it is the wrong bloody direction! We are thinking about making a workout video called “HnH Sweats”. What do you guys think? Would you work out with us!? 😀 Also, in the spirit of dieting… this episode is cake themed ^_^
Factoid of the Week:
The ‘cakewalk’ dance originated in African American communities in the Southern United States and was originally a competition in graceful walking, with cake awarded as a prize.

Naked Man Freed From Washing Machine
3 Hour Orgasm
Woman Seeks Man that Peed on her
Poo Cake

Words of Wisdom:
Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
Jim Davis

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Running Time: 1:02:03