My mother broke her foot about 3 weeks ago, and she just started rehab to help her heal. I drove her to Body Works Wednesday under the assumption that she would be done w/n about 15 minutes. (That is what the ppl in charge told me, anyway.) So, I sat outside in the very bright sun reading my Anita Blake book (yay LKH!) while I waited on my mother. I apparently got lost in reading, because my mother emerged over an hour later. Anyway, I got home and had a sunburn spot on my KNEE. Who the hell gets one sunburn spot on their KNEE? Ugh. I’m glad I had episode 65 to stop the burn. Why monkeys are bad, why ninja’s aren’t really ninjas if they can be seen, and why you should never leave toilet paper roses as a means of apology. Dedicated to Kristina, our newest listener (and Eyrck’s sessy girlfriend).
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Author: Smashie
She's scatterbrained and filled with coconut oil at best.
Episode 64 – “Death Wears Sandals!”
So, I am down in Tally Wang with Stephen this week! We did a semi-live, on video show and a couple of our awesome listeners turned in and were perverts with us! I was trying to pound back a bottle of Asti, and Stephen had his mega fruit juice of doom. Apparently, there was a lot of interest in Stephen’s spinny chair… and bets on whether or not he would tip over at one point during the show. While Stephen was busy trying to keep his balance, and I was trying not to choke on bubbles our show read without us about Gerbils of Doom, Zombie Mayors, Street Swept Dogs, and Gonad Crazed Puffer Fish. This episode is dedicated to our newest fan, Vash, from somewhere in Georgia. He is HnH approved.
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Episode 63 – “Mmm, Hot Monkey Cleavage!”
I did this episode rather tipsy off my arse. I drank a bottle of Vampire Merlot that the wondiferous Brad B. got me for helping him carry heavy boxes. I think I shall forever to the show in a state of tipsyness. Stephen also did the show live (from his end) via camera and sticham on the site! This will probably become the trend. My room is a mess… someone come clean it immediately. Or you could check out our show and get paid to watch pr0n, have your penis bitten by a snake, have a baby you didn’t know you were carrying while wearing a bumble bee suit, or be chased away from your meal by a bear.
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Monkey Business Sense
Ok, we normally try and put these stories in our own words… but I couldn’t do it any better than this. This is just… strange.
He’s a revered Hindu monkey god. And now, he’s the chairman of an Indian business school.
Episode 62 – “Porkchop Sandwiches!”
This week has been insane. I spent 24 hours straight (2 breaks for food) helping a friend move from his apartment (he had more crap then you could possibly imagine), came back home (3 hour drive) only to take my mum to the hospital! Pure Crap! Combine this with working and my mum’s broken foot and you have a recipe for no spare time! Good thing I have Stephen and H&H to turn to or I would be doing some BASE jumping without a chute. This week brings us a man who thought a porta-potty was a swimming pool, gassless sheep, an unhomeless homeless woman, and a naked maid that no one thought to watch clean.
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Episode 61 – “Candy Corn of DOOM!”
It is so good to be back! I missed Stephen and H&H almost enough to keep me home from going to Busch Gardens and eating all of the roller coasters. Alas, the coasters called to me and demanded my attendance. This show totally makes up for my absence, however (because I know you all were just pining away without me). Stephen and I both had caffeine before we recorded, and we are insanely hyper. Hyper hosts make for awesome shows! Lots of sex (with cars!), shark attacks (in bedrooms!), moonpies (as deadly weapons!), and marriages (to walls!). Enjoy the caffeine rush 😀
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Got Milk (In Your Eye)?
Everyone has seen someone squirt milk out of their nose at some point or another. You might have been one of those lucky individuals that felt the horrible burning as liquid shot out of holes you never thought liquid could shoot out of. I have never had the intense agonizing pleasure, but I have seen it happen. It’s kinda gross. Not as gross, however, as shooting milk out of your EYE. Continue reading “Got Milk (In Your Eye)?”
eBay Baby
There are tons of weird things put up for auction on eBay every hour. There have been Jesus Pancakes, Mastodon Bones, and even “New Folders” for your Windows OS. I can’t say I’ve ever seen anyone offer up their baby, however — until now. Yes, dear readers, on Saturday, May 24th an eight-month-old child was offered up for bids on eBay. The German couple, apparently thinking changing diapers was not all it was cracked up to be, decided that they wanted to see if anyone would bid for their child. Continue reading “eBay Baby”
Wedding Exam
Every little girl (except me, of course) dreams about the perfect wedding. They fill the seats with stuffed animals and unicorns and draw up the most ridiculous dresses imaginable to be wed in. When the time actually comes to start planning a wedding for reals the women go insane and start demanding specifically colored table clothes that match their specifically colored invitations that no one gave a second glance to. The point is that women are insane while planning their wedding. Most of them–unless they are mentally unstable–never considered having “the big day” at a school, especially right after a final exam. Chinese bride, Luo Yingchao decided to do just that, however.
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Episode 58 – “Caution: Riding Tortoise May Cause Burns”
Ok, so I am sitting in my apartment alone and depressed. My sister just took her final exam for her first year in Pharmacy School (so proud!), and my friends are all at work. But, I am going to listen to episode 58 and laugh at what a bunch of miscreants Stephen and I are, and I will be heartily cheered! 58’s content is deliciously hilarious, and is sure to make you wet yourself laughing. We have special art on the forum from Eryck Webb, and an amazing song done by our very own Frankie U. Check it out and be cheered along with me!
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