I have laughed so hard the last two hours, that I’m pretty sure I am going to just throw up and die. My stomach is in pain, and I wanna curl up in bed and pass out. I spent three hours driving back up here, then another 30 going to a costume shop to get my hat for my costume, then sat for 2 more hours doing the shows. My butt hurts, I’m so tired… and I seriously just can’t laugh anymore. Woman attacks cops with a used girly item, a man pees on a dog in horny ire, a beach goes missing, and a man leaves his thumb at a brothel. I can has sleep now?
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Tag: sex
Episode 79 – “Someone Is Burning A Fire”
Hey Everybody! I’m sitting in a restaurant shortly before this episode is supposed to come out and typing this on my iPhone. That pretty much means that this intro will be short. I hope you guys enjoy the show as much as we did. Our show was packed with the usual insane and disgusting news that you guys have come to know and love. Including, but not limited to, cooking with balls, crazy Mexican condom van thieves, a misdiagnosed old dude, and a ketchup stealing bandit! Enjoy the show!
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Episode 77 – “What Kind of Nuts Are These?”
We had sooooo many notes this week. I had to cut down on half of them, and we even did mid-show cuts to keep the time down. 20$ that next week I won’t be able to find a single note! I guess stupidity runs in bouts. If the amount of stupid is used up for a month in a weeks time… then everyone tends to behave the rest of the month. Which is good in practice, but oh so annoying for those of us that gather notes. Good thing that people decided to screw car bumpers in public, hang upside down in protest, cook with breast milk, claim they are a “special agent from the United States Illuminati, badge number 0931”, and steal their daughter’s I.D. so they can become a cheerleader…
Vibes go out to Voodoo this week… get better! <3
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Episode 72 – “He Won’t Recognize Me By My Butt”
This is late. Just in case you were confused. We had a good reason for it being late, though. Stephen moved up here, so from now on we will have live shows! Granted, my face is finally getting rearranged this Thursday, so I won’t be in the game for at least a week. I ran out after the show to see Tropic Thunder. It was completely ridiculous… like our show this week! We found so many amazingly retarded people doing so many amazingly retarded things. Giant, inflatable poo, 20 min peep shows, Burger King baths, and train tunnels too small for the trains. I’ll miss you guys!
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Episode 70 – “Do Squirrels Have Nuts?”
The word “salad” implies something light and crunchy and yummy. So, when I made a taco salad, I was looking forward to not feeling like a very stuffed sausage afterwords. However, I apparently more taccoed and less saladed my taco salad… and I feel like a turkey on thanksgiving – stuffed. I also forgot what day it was today and barely made it home in time for the live show; which is not really the best thing in the world for a co-host to do! Anyway, the show was awesome and a special thanks to everyone that turned out! The show was a bit gross this week, eating bugs, being impaled in the groin by a rusty spike, having one’s penis fall off in the midst of sex… you know, pretty standard stories for us 😀 Continue reading “Episode 70 – “Do Squirrels Have Nuts?””
Episode 68 – “A Different Set of Boobs!”
Whoa! I totally apologize for the late release on this one. I spent most of last night in a ceremonial wrestling match with a squirrel ambassador and that little sucker put up a major fight! Who would have thought that a 6 inch tall rodent could fight like that? It was like watching the Karate Kid, and I was the kid from the Cobra Kai! Needless to say I was dead tired and slept through the release time, but this episode is definitely worth the wait! We’ve got drunk Aussies, oral sex competitions, and the infamous Goat Man!!
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Episode 61 – “Candy Corn of DOOM!”
It is so good to be back! I missed Stephen and H&H almost enough to keep me home from going to Busch Gardens and eating all of the roller coasters. Alas, the coasters called to me and demanded my attendance. This show totally makes up for my absence, however (because I know you all were just pining away without me). Stephen and I both had caffeine before we recorded, and we are insanely hyper. Hyper hosts make for awesome shows! Lots of sex (with cars!), shark attacks (in bedrooms!), moonpies (as deadly weapons!), and marriages (to walls!). Enjoy the caffeine rush 😀
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Episode 60 LIVE! – “You Have Porn On Your Pillow”
Alas, today’s live show went on despite that fact that nobody listened live and nobody called in. Don’t worry, the co-host of the show wasn’t even there. My good buddy Micah stood in to take her place! Despite not having boobies, he did awesome and I am super glad that he came on to pick up the slack left by Ash who is currently out of town fighting the good fight against the Red Squirrel Army. We still had a good time, and I can only assume that you all were abducted by aliens and couldn’t wrestle yourselves away in time to join us. I hope you love this episode!
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Episode 59 – “Buttery Nipple Leftovers”
I would like to take the time to dedicate this episode to all the penguins out there… penguins that have been put into games where you see how far you can punt them with a polar bear and a bat. Penguins that have been put into weird CG movies and taught to dance (oddly) and sing (horribly). Penguins that do not look like penguins because the toy store manufacture has no idea what a penguin actually looks like. Lastly, and maybe most importantly, penguins that have been violated for 45 minutes by great, fat 245 seals. You’re doing it WRONG! Now you have to listen to the show because you are overly curious as to what I am prattling on about. 😀
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Episode 57 – “Is That A Podcast In Your Pocket Or…”
My kitchen has exploded. I don’t mean a dish here and there… I mean full out, supernova, atom bomb, enough c-4 to level the planet, exploded. It has even thrown debris as far as my room. If anyone would care to volunteer to come tidy my apartment (ie fill it with water and swish it around for a bit), they would be more than welcome to. If not, you are still more than welcome to listen to the awesome show we have lined up for you this evening! We have the ultimate fight between lesbians and lesbos (what!?), the perks of supporting net neutrality (free sex!), and why you should not have sex with cows… Yeah.
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